Rest for the Weary

In Matthew 11: 28-30, Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Is that cool or what? :) Rest for the soul.

Hot Pink Scrubs

Tonight was another typical night on 6NE... let's see, my patients were: homeless drug addict; hepatic encephalopathy (my favorite!!); obese high-maintenance man; and a new admit late in the shift. Yep, it was just another night in paradise! And did I mention that 3 out of the 4 were on isolation? I spent a lot of time gowning up.

I wore my hot pink scrub pants tonight with a black top... it's an outfit that always garners comments. But I like them, so who cares! I think I am still slightly rebelling from my last job, where we had to wear navy blue every day. I did realize, however, that I grabbed my lime-green fleece on the way out the door, which meant that I looked a bit like a pack of highlighters. Haha. Whatever... it was, um... as my boss phrased it, "cheerful"! :-)

Here I am at 1 am, after working all evening:

Smokey seemed to like them, too. :-)

Day 9649 of Life

It's been a couple of days since I posted a blog. Just been working and being lazy... no real excuse not to write! Things are a little stressful right now with everything that's going on, but not unbearable. I've realized that there are so many things in life that are out of my control, and it's not worth agonizing over them. I've decided to trust God and in the meantime just do my part to work on the things I DO have control over. One day at a time. And even though it's hard, I'm doing ok.

Worked this weekend, and am working tonight. Definitely looking forward to having tomorrow off! Last night I spent the first 4 hrs of the shift as the circulating nurse, which I really enjoy doing. Basically just wander around helping people, answering call lights, refilling supplies, fixing the copier, etc. :-) It makes me feel like I am actually making a difference. And NO CHARTING!! That's the best part! The second half of my shift was not too bad. But the last 2 days I've had this one patient with more psych issues than medical ones. It is exhausting. There's a reason I did not become a psych nurse!! But we have so many patients with psych issues on our floor. And a lot of homeless guys. And drug addicts. Sometimes a glorious combination of all 3 in one person. Lovely!

Been shopping around for a new TV. Finally! Doing some research on LCDs. I was going to get it after Thanksgiving, but then postponed the big purchase so I didn't go totally broke over Christmas. But now I'm hoping to finally upgrade my tiny little TV for one more appropriate to the size of the room! My current TV is smaller than the screen on a MacBook Pro... what does that tell you?! Time to upgrade. :-) I have saved my vacation payout from Methodist for just such an occasion! I am very excited, in case you couldn't tell.

My Groundhog cookie cutters arrived today! The right size ones, that is. Just in time to bake a zillion cookies tomorrow... and put the mixer to the test! :-)

It snowed last night! Less than an inch, but enough that I decided it was WAY too dangerous to go running. :-) OK, so I'm lazy, I admit it. I will walk extra laps around the floor at work tonight instead! Down to the cusp of a new weight milestone. I'm hoping to reach that goal this week. Probably skipping exercise isn't the best way to do that, though. Sigh. It's hard, but I've been really motivated by the way the numbers keep going down. And I have awesome support... my family and friends have really been encouraging, which is pretty amazing! Don't know what I would do without you guys. :-)

I've been thinking about the parable of the prodigal son today. Imagine that feeling... the father welcoming his son back with open arms, despite everything that the son had done. Unconditional love. What an amazing Father we have!!

KBSG

I miss the old KBSG. I grew up listening to Oldies 97.3 here in Seattle, and was sad to discover that the week I moved back they switched formats. Not entirely, mind you, but they added more from the 70s and even the 80s (shocking!). I was listening to KBSG in my car today, and was pleased to discover they hadn't totally gotten rid of the classics. Yes, it was car-karaoke with the Rascals, the Crystals, Gary Puckett & the Union Gap, and of course it wouldn't be Seattle without the Kingsmen! :-)

When I was in elementary and middle school, I wasn't allowed to listen to the popular music of the time. So my best friend Ingrid and I listened to KBSG and talked about the Beach Boys and Beatles like they were still the young heartthrobs they were for our parents! We knew all the words to pretty much all the songs. I still have the sudden urge to call the radio station every time I hear "Fun, Fun, Fun" or "Mustang Sally". Never won that car. But still always tried.

In 1995, when we moved to Philadelphia, I discovered that the "Oldies" were different. Way more R&B and Jersey Shore stuff, lots of doo-wop. Which was cool in itself. Learned a whole new set of songs! There are songs that I think are very specific to Philly/Jersey.... like a lot of Frankie Avalon, Frankie Valli, and well... let's just say there were a lot more guys named Frankie. And somehow Frank Sinatra always slipped in a bit, too!!

(As I write, I'm listening to WOGL... man, I can't believe I miss those Philly accents!! When did that happen? I am suddenly reminiscing about something I didn't like when I lived there... hm.)

I have added a bunch of the my favorites from the '50s- '70s onto my iPod. My current favorite is the Rascals' "Good Lovin'", which sounds amazing on the stereo system in my car. Even if it does remind me of an old Group Health commercial. And I found an old clip on YouTube, so I can share this amazing song with you all. The quality is horrible but the outfits are hilarious! :-)

Yes, I am a dork. But then again if you are reading this, you probably already knew that!!

50 blocks

Just got back from my little exercise adventure. Went 25 blocks and back... according to Google maps it is a total of 2.6 miles on the route I went. Sad to say, however, that I did not run the whole way. In fact, I ran approximately 1 mile of it. Oh well. Did I mention it was uphill? :-) Not my best work, but better than sitting on the couch! And it is COLD out. Brr!!!

Lazy

I slept for like 10 hours last night. It was glorious! Of course, I had the hardest time getting my lazy bum out of bed this morning. That's the problem with not having to be at work until 3 pm! I'm moving slow today. Trying to get myself into some exercise clothes and out the door for a run. Down another 2 lbs this morning! That should be motivation enough... but I am really lazy. :-)

Telemetry class was ok yesterday. I might have dozed off a bit in the morning, despite the approximately 30 ounces of coffee in my system. I am thinking it might be time to wean off the caffeine for a while!

I'm trying to decide what to do tomorrow with my day off. I should probably do something boring like clean the pig sty that is my guest room/office. Or maybe start sorting through my paperwork that needs to be filed away. Gotta start gathering stuff to do my taxes! Haha. I am hoping to get a refund this year (who isn't!), but considering all the moving and job changes, etc... who knows how it will work out!

So I've been a little bummed about Heath Ledger's death. I definitely liked him as an actor and was looking forward to seeing him as the Joker! (Although I've been told his part has been already filmed.) I saw this clip from "10 Things I Hate About You" last night, and thought I'd show it to you all because it is among my favorite Heath Ledger moments.

Tired.

There so much to blog about, and so little time! I got home from work a little while ago... and have telemetry class (week 3 for those keeping count) at 7 am. Can't come home and go directly to sleep, so might be another day of getting like 4 hours of sleep then napping in class. :-)

Work tonight was pretty normal. Nothing too exciting. Got kinda yelled at by a nurse on another floor (for things that were 100% not my fault, nor under my control)... and my manager, Eric, was all over it, emailing her boss, etc. Wow. I can't believe I work in a place with that kind of support!

Had a crazy patient. What else is new?! Haha. Although this one was interesting because she was hot. Not as in good looking, but as in radioactive! One of the benefits to working at one of the top medical centers in the country (I'm still pretty excited about that!) is that sometimes we have patients there for all sorts of reasons. Our floor has a couple of lead-lined rooms that are used for patients getting radiation treatments, such as an I-131 swallow for thyroid cancer, like my patient tonight had. It is a big production, because once they are "hot" (that is, swallowed the radioactive seeds), we can't go near them. And the room is all specially prepped. Gotta wear my radiation badge! It is very stylish. :-) Anyway, the woman was nuts, and we were mildly concerned that she would get claustrophobic and try to leave the room while hot. Luckily she did not, but that prompted an extensive story-telling time among the staff about the craziest patients we've had. My manager has some amazing stories! Although I had some really good ones too. I think my colleagues were all a little shocked. :-) I do not miss my job at Methodist!! And I think my PTSD is slowly subsiding.

Today was one of those gorgeous sunny days in Seattle, where anything seems possible. I went for a run this morning, although it turned out to be a half walk/half run because it was so cold that my lungs were frostbitten. :-) I went 44 blocks... ran about 23 of them! But I don't know what that is in actual distance. I should google-map it. All I know is, I've never before run until I got nauseous. Yikes. Had to stop before I threw up! Never had that happen before. Weird. I think it was the cold. And my lack of being in shape. Haha. Didn't run anywhere exciting, just down 8th Ave and back. But it was neat to check out the neighborhood along the way. Only in this area would you see a house with a Viking ship carved into the wooden front door! Except maybe in Scandinavia... hm. Anyway. It was a good time. Not getting up early to run tomorrow. No way! Might go for a walk after tele class. Either that or meet Ingrid for coffee. We'll see. Hm. Mocha or exercise... hard to choose! (Or not.)

I feel like I have other things to write about, but I am exhausted. Time to head to bed. Class starts in, um... 6 hours. Lovely. But I found out tonight that I get extra pay for the short break! If only I had known that earlier and could have gotten that for the previous class. Oh well. Don't want to be greedy.

Goodnight.

50th post

Can you believe it? 50 posts. I wonder if anyone reads them? :-) This one should be really profound. Should be. But none of my other posts have been, so why should this one be any different?

I feel as though I should start a tradition for each milestone post, though. So maybe I can reflect on what has happened in the interim. This one is easy. The blog was created to keep people updated on my move to Seattle. And since then, well... everything has changed! My life is totally different than it was last August. Well, not TOTALLY. Smokey still hogs the bed most nights. I'm still addicted to diet Coke. And I'm still a nurse. But other than that...

New apartment, new car, new job, new friends. New furniture. New... um... what else is new? Essentially everything! I am pretty much the same dorky Alison, however. I've maybe matured a little, gotten out of my comfort zone sometimes. Definitely had my faith strengthened, and tested, a bit.

I remember sitting in my room at my parent's house, creating the blog and writing the first post. It seems like such a long time ago!! Hopefully it won't be that long before the 100th post.

Time to get some dinner and watch Jon Stewart. The more things change, the more they stay the same. :-)

LBC pictures

I promised lots of pictures from this weekend... OK, so we only took 40 on my camera. :-) Some of my favorites are below. But you can see all of them at: http://picasaweb.google.com/AlisonMeneely/TCLReunionWeekend

Weekend at LBC

I'm exhausted!! I spent this weekend cabin-leading at the TCL reunion at Lakeside Bible Camp. It turned out the ratio of leaders to TCLers was pretty high, so my responsbilities were minimal.
Overall, it was a good experience. Some parts were more fun than others, but I think it was good for me to do stretch myself and do something outside my comfort zone. Yes, I had to pray out loud. Sigh. At least it was in a small group.

I also had to do something I hate. There are few things I hate. One is tuna. The other is ice-breaker games. (I strongly dislike mayo, but not enough to put it in the "hate" category) There were WAY too many ice-breaker games for my comfort this weekend. Actually, just one would have been too much, but there were multiple sessions of multiple games.... which seemed to go on forever. I learned all the TCL classics. Most of which involve mortifying positions (can you say "cowboy"?) or quick movement. You can imagine my embarrassment when, in the midst of one such game, Mike V. ended up on my lap! Some events were ok... Jim had the good idea of a Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament, which was at least do-able. Except that I inadverently kept winning, and then before I knew it I was in the final showdown. Which wouldn't have been so bad except for the crowd of people behind and around me, cheering me on!! At that point, my comfort zone was so far away, I couldn't even remember what it felt like. :-)

There were some good talks given by the various TCL directors, and then Jim gave one this morning which was pretty good, considering his age (21) and experience. I'm looking forward to hearing more from him in the future. The weekend was a really great opportunity to spend time in the Word and in prayer. I won't post everything that I reflected on here (or this post will get very very long!), but I will share with you 1 Corinthians 10:13. "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

These last few days have been really hard. I was glad to have the opportunity to spend some time alone with God. I definitely needed it, the way this week was going! I took a long walk in the woods, even though it was raining, and just prayed while I walked. I really needed to just talk to God about some of the things going on in my life, and sob hysterically about others.

I've been spending time in Romans lately. "...but we also rejoice in suffering, because we know that suffering produces perserverance; perserverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." (Romans 5:3-5... I could keep going with the passage we all know, but this is the part I've been thinking about.)

Perserverance. That's my prayer.

Off to camp!

Just a warning... you'll be going through a bit of withdrawal this weekend if you read my blog regularly. :-) Haha. I'm headed up to Whidbey Island to do some cabin leading for the TCL reunion weekend at Lakeside. It should be an interesting time, and I'm looking forward to it. I love Whidbey, and LBC is one of my favorite places, so at the very least it will be a nice getaway! I'm driving up this afternoon with Libby and one of her friends, which will be fun, I suspect. Hopefully the ferry lines won't be too long!

Pray that this weekend will be a time of relaxation, fellowship, and encouragement for the TCLers. It's a great opportunity to spend a lot of time in the Word and in fellowship with other young Christians. I'm looking forward to both!

I'll take lots of pictures, I'm sure. Don't say I didn't warn you! :-)

It's 3 am...

Work tonight was long. I didn't get done with all my charting until after midnight. Love those late admits! I hate passing work along to the next shift, so I always try to finish it, if I can. But I gotta learn to do it, I think. I always get stuff passed along to me, so I shouldn't feel guilty passing it on to others. The motto is, "Nursing is a 24 hour a day job"... but I always feel bad if I pass it off. So instead I stay late. And don't put in for extra pay. Sigh. I really should. But I feel like I SHOULD have been able to do everything within my shift.

This shift was particularly interesting, because for the first time in my career, I had a nursing student!! Yes, there was some poor unsuspecting UW student following me around to absorb my vast nursing knowledge. Or not. :-) It was their first clinical of the quarter, so all they were doing was shadowing. So I gave her the royal tour and the code to the locker room and tried to be nice. I remember how horrible some of the nurses treated me and my classmates when we were students. Usually, all the stuff nobody wants to do gets passed down the ladder! There was one incident my first semester that involved 4 nursing students bathing a 500 lb patient. I suspect that maybe we were being hazed or something. :-) I tried hard not to do that tonight. It's weird to have someone following you around, taking notes. I kept telling her, "This is probably not how you learned it in school, but...". Haha. Trying not to scare her too much. But as I was (literally) running down the hall, thanks to a bed alarm, she commented that I really get a workout when I work! Yeah she got the full "Nurse Alison" experience. :-) That poor girl was scrambling to keep up with me, which was pretty amusing. It has been said (by colleagues that shall remain nameless) that I don't move slowly at work, and tonight it was definitely true!

I actually really enjoyed having a student with me. When I was in nursing school, I thought I might want to teach nursing someday. It takes 2 years of experience to be a clinical instructor, so maybe next fall. Definitely a good gig. Something to think about. :-)

It's 3 am and I am wide awake. (Kinda sounds like a Matchbox 20 song, huh!) That's the beauty of working evening shifts, I guess. Bizarre sleeping habits. I can't ever fall asleep right when I get home! Tonight I have a lot on my mind. Which doesn't help me sleep.

Smokey just jumped over the back of the couch, without warning, and began headbutting my right elbow. :-) Then she leaped onto the back of the couch. Then onto my left side. Meowing loudly. Now she has settled into a position lying across the back of the couch, spread out and taking up an unbelievable amount of space! She is adorable. Clearly thinks that it is way past my bedtime!

Well, maybe I should take heed and head to bed. Don't really feel tired, but maybe I'll be able to sleep if I try.

Without ceasing

I've been praying a lot lately. It's a good thing, really. Just something that I realized this morning.... I've been spending quite of bit of time in prayer. Last night I did something that I can't remember ever doing. I was talking to a friend who's going through a rough time, and I found myself putting my hand on their shoulder and asking if I could take a moment to pray for them. I've mentioned before that I always feel self-conscious praying out loud in groups... last night I couldn't bring myself to do it aloud, but still. I know God hears prayers, even if I don't say the words out loud. I don't know what came over me, but I was literally compelled to pray with this person. It was an awesome feeling.

Then I did something else that I don't think I have ever done. I had been thinking about one of my favorite Psalms yesterday, and after praying with my friend I decided to share the passage with them. So I sat with them and read Psalm 91, with the prayer in my heart that it would be an encouragement. I won't post the entire Psalm here (go read it!!) but here is an excerpt I love:

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

"'Because he loves me,' says the Lord, 'I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 5, "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Let that be our goal. :-)

~Alison

Tele Class, Part II

Today was the second week of telemetry class... and let me just say that it's a good thing I am being paid to attend! Excrutiatingly boring. This week we did atrial and junctional rhythms. So at least it was mildly more exciting than last weeks 8 hrs of lecture on normal sinus rhythm! :-) I got to share with my coworkers the story of my experience pushing IV adenosine... still one of the scariest things I've ever done as a nurse. They were duly impressed with my story, particularly because that's not something we could do on our floor at UW (it would totally be the stat nurse's responsibility)! For those that aren't up on their pharmacology, adenosine is used to get someone out of an abnormally super fast heart rate... but the way it works is that it stops the heart. Which then restarts again (hopefully in a better rhythm) because the drug has a half-life of like 15 seconds. But those few seconds where the patient's heart has stopped... because you pushed a drug through their IV... yeah that is pretty scary!!

So anyway, we had a good time sitting in the back row and sort of paying attention. :-) I really enjoy this group of co-workers! Ashley used her cell phone to take a picture, which luckily got inadvertently deleted. It was actually a hilarious shot of Cher, Abdul, and me, sitting in a row, all three of us completely asleep. Haha. I don't think I slept for very long... when I woke up we were still on the same page of lecture notes... but then again it might have been. Hope I didn't snore!

Interestingly, there was a big announcement at the beginning of class, both out loud and via a powerpoint slide. The slide was entitled "Latte Emergency". Apparently, the espresso stand's steam wand broke, and there was no espresso available. Crisis!! You should have heard the cries of outrage. Seriously! Then I asked whether there was drip coffee available, and they looked at me like I was crazy, and said, "Of course there's drip coffee!!". So the big production was over the lack of lattes, not the lack of coffee in general. Only in Seattle!

This week we had lunch in the hospital cafeteria. I gotta remember to pack my lunch next week... yeah, hospital food is not the best. We're a funny group... there's Jesse, your typical Seattle-ite, who biked like 1,000 miles to get there and was wearing his t-shirt with the giant recycling logo on it (no joke), which goes nice with his long hair. I swear he actually pulled a half a cabbage out of his backpack and started just eating it. Raw. Weird. Also, he is going naked bungee jumping for his birthday in a few weeks. Apparently he is really into "naked adventure sports". I didn't realize there was such a category. Hopefully they won't add it to the Olympics! At least not the winter games.

Then there's Ashley, from Oregon, who told the story of how she took her cell phone to some scary place in Renton to get it unlocked, and then the story of how she tried to take a pineapple into the Galapagos. Haha. Then there's Abdul, who is simply hilarious... mostly because of his African accent and his occasional misunderstanding of the English language. For example, he swears that one of our colleagues at work used to be a male stripper, but we're pretty sure he just misheard something. :-) He laughs at himself, which is good, because pretty much everything out of his mouth is funny. Cher's the person I'm probably closest to. She's from California, and moved here over the summer, too. She decided today that she is going to give away all her clothes because all she wears is scrubs and pjs. Sounds like another nurse I know. Hm. :-)

Class was good in the afternoon. I managed to stay awake! We did have some excitement, though, when the fire alarm went off. Abdul jumped up, grabbed his coat, and ran out of that room like HE was on fire! The only person in the room to get up. It was so funny. Then the instructor announced that we would be staying put (despite the alarm) because we were so close to the front door and they'd let us know if we needed to evacuate. So she continues to lecture with the alarm going off. Couldn't hear a thing! But the alarm did keep me awake, so it was ok. After it went silent, all the sudden the door opens to the auditorium, and who walks in but Abdul, with a sheepish look on his face. He climbs over Cher and takes back his seat next to me, giving the explanation, "Well, I didn't want to burn up!". I guess you had to be there, but I laughed so hard that I cried. :-) Luckily we got out of class a bit early, which was great.

On that note, I gotta go figure out what to make for dinner. :-)

How Great Thou Art

Just got back from a long walk at Carkeek Park. It turned out to be a gorgeous day, although a bit chilly. I guess it is January, after all! :-) I had every intention of going for a run, but... still pretty icy. So it was a walk instead. Listened to net@nite (when is there going to be a new episode?!), and then just sat on the beach for a while. Took a bunch of pictures... here are a few. The rest can be found on Picasa if one is interested! (http://picasaweb.google.com/AlisonMeneely/January2008 )

Alone on the beach, sitting on a really cold rock, watching the waves crashing, I found myself praying this hymn:

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

Randomness

I was watching "The View" this morning, and heard Whoopi Goldberg say something that gave me pause. (Literally. Thank goodness for Tivo, which allowed me to go back and replay what she said!) They were talking about people starting their lives over after a divorce, and here's what she said: "Until you learn to be by yourself, you're really not going to be much good to anybody else. Because if you are waiting for someone to make you whole... it's a mistake. You really have to have who you are. You have to say, 'this is who I am' and whether you or you or you can handle it, that's not my issue. I can handle it." Which I thought was pretty interesting. But then there was Elizabeth Hasselbeck's response, about getting to know yourself in a whole new way with your husband. It was a really interesting discussion, and captured my attention because I made the conscious decision to move to Seattle as a way of figuring out who I am, and to live on my own. Not that I didn't have an idea of who I am... just that I spent 6 very formative years of my life (18-24) dating one person, and pretty much defined myself by who I was with him. But living on my own, even though its only been a few months, has totally changed my perspective of myself. It's awesome!

Doing some laundry today. Definitely needed to be done. Last night I was wearing my last clean pair of socks, of which one has a big hole. And my toe kept poking through. The entire shift I kept having to fix my sock. Really annoying. :-) Why I never threw away that pair of socks is beyond me.

Just saw on the news that TO was crying. Haha. That makes me smile for some reason. Not that I am the biggest Eagles fan, but after 12 years in Philly (and 1 year working in South Philly), I guess I have picked up a bit of that Philly attitude! Which reminds me. There is an ICU nurse who I've run across several times at work... I don't know her name, but everytime she sees me, she uses a nickname she coined the first time we talked. Yes, she calls me "Philly". So she'll pass by the hall and shout out, "Yo, Philly! What's up?" in her Boston accent. Which cracks me up.

I wrote the other day about my adventures in cooking. Well, 2 nights ago I got home from work, exhausted (this was that horrible night I had) and starving. Too lazy to cook something to eat, so I decide to make some toast. And set off the smoke alarm at like 1:45 in the morning! I don't know what my problem is. The toast wasn't even burnt!

This is such a random blog. And to make it more random, here's a picture of Smokey I took the other day.

WWFND?

Work was much better tonight... a lot less busy. Although I did find out that one of my patients from last night died about 4 hours after I went home. That was really sad for me and some of the other nurses that had taken care of him. Sometimes it's really difficult not to feel guilty when things happen... even if they are outside of your control. I have to remind myself that I did the best that I could, even though I might feel like the worst nurse ever. As one of my friends put it tonight, WWFND? What Would Florence Nightengale Do? :-)

Enough depressing stuff. Despite what it might sound like, I have actually been feeling pretty good lately. I'm liking work (most days). Got some amazing friends. I live in a gorgeous city. Lost a couple more pounds, although the rate has slowed a bit... might need to work out more often to keep it up, but as long as the numbers keep heading down, I'm happy! Actually, I've been pretty happy in general lately. :-) Life just seems to be working out really well for me. I don't think I have ever been as happy as I've been in the last few weeks! This morning, I literally woke up with a smile on my face. Seriously.

Moving here has suited me pretty well. I have certainly grown up quite a bit, that's for sure. I've learned a lot about myself and the things that are important. Like the fact that life is too short not to live it to the fullest. Whether that means late night trips to Kerry Park on a whim, singing at the top of your lungs while alone in the car, forgiving someone who's hurt you (even if you have every right to be angry), or being yourself without worrying what others might think, it's important to live every single day. Not just get through it, but actually LIVE each day. At least that's what I've been trying to do. God has put me here at this time, in this place, for a reason.

Time to head to bed. It is 2 am, after all. :-) Smokey is fast asleep on my bed, looking very cute. And since the heat in my apartment goes off at 11 pm... it is freezing! Definitely my cue to get some sleep.

January 13

I haven't written very much lately... and I keep thinking of good blog topics! Just haven't gotten around to actually sitting down and writing them. Don't worry-- you haven't missed anything Pulitzer-worthy. :-)

Only a couple more weeks of working evening shifts. I am really looking forward to switching to day shift so I can actually have a life! Although I suspect that I will be in for a rude awakening... what life? Haha. Work last night was pretty stressful. First time I ever had to throw away my clothes and steal hospital scrubs because I was covered in blood. Yikes. Nothing too gory, just a bladder irrigation gone awry. (Don't ask. Sigh.) I sent one patient to the ICU, where less than half an hour later he was on a ventilator... and one of my other ones suffered an injury... HIPAA prevents further details, but it was just not a good situation. And I felt horrible. Not my fault, but still. Ugh. Hate nights like that. Got home at about 1:15 am, stayed up for a bit just rehashing the whole shift in my head. Slept in this morning, and it felt wonderful. I had toyed with the idea of going to Mars Hill or something since I was gonna miss Hope tonight... but when I got home so late I knew it just wasn't going to happen.

Next weekend I'm headed to Lakeside to do some cabin leading for the TCL reunion weekend. I'm pretty nervous. Andy had some good advice... told me that I just had to "be a girl". Haha. I like that he said it like it was something that I had to make an effort to do! I've never really done anything like that before. It'll be good for me to get out of the house and put myself into an uncomfortable situation... I know like 2 people who will be there, so yeah... not my favorite thing. Also, Ingrid pointed out yesterday that I might have to face my other big fear-- public prayer. Yikes! I hate praying out loud in groups. But again, Andy had some good advice. As the older person, I can get away with delegating. Sounds like a plan. :-)

Still haven't taken down the Christmas tree. And it is January 13. Now I know why people have real trees-- the tree starts to disintegrate so you are forced to take it down!!

Went to Kerry Park again on Friday night. I seem to spend a lot of time there taking pictures! Here's one of my favorites from Friday:

Mixer, part 2

Look how pretty it is! (Yes, those are my legs reflected in the bowl... it is so clean that I couldn't take the picture without getting my reflection in it!!)

Mixer

I stayed up way too late last night! Nothing exciting going on... just couldn't seem to fall asleep at first. Spent a lot of time in prayer. I know that God has brought me here to this place, at this time, for a reason. I just need to trust Him and His timing. One day at a time.

Dinner last night was awesome, if I may say so myself! Steak, rice, green peas. Yep, I even made vegetables! It was the best meal I have had in quite some time. :) Although it was not without a bit of excitement... I blew a fuse! Had to go outside to the laundry room and flip the circuit breakers. Crisis averted! But it did make me wonder... I have rarely cooked actual meals since I have moved in, and it seems like there have been a fair number of minor crises... disproportionate to the actual number of meals cooked. So far we have attempted to serve chili without a ladle or other serving implement, set off the smoke detectors a few times (but I blame Andy for at least 1 of them), and now have lost power in the middle of cooking dinner. Hm. My cooking skills seem to be regressing.

Guess what arrived today? My Christmas present from Grandpa Reid! He gave me a Target giftcard for Christmas, which I used to purchase something extraordinarily extravagant. A mixer! But not just any mixer. It's the Kitchenaid Artisan... yes, with 10 speeds, a 5 qt capacity, and 12 possible attachments! Yikes! Haven't gotten a chance to play with it yet, but I am excited. It will probably be initiated by making thousands of Groundhog cookies.

Does being this excited over a stand mixer make me a dork? Probably. But I don't care. It's awesome. :)

Team building

Before I begin, a correction to my last post. My apologies to Aaron Elkins, whose book title I butchered. Not "Tiny Little Teeth", but "Little Tiny Teeth". I think. :) It is upstairs and I am too lazy to double check. I also apologize to all those Elkins fans who couldn't figure out what I was talking about! :)

I was talking to my parents this afternoon and they lamented that due to work schedules, the time difference, etc. the only way they knew what was going in my life was through my blog! Yikes. I better keep posting, then.

And since it is clear that Mom and Dad do indeed read this blog... I did not spend today sitting in the back row of the auditorium at telemetry class, being silly with my coworkers. :) We'll call it a team-building exercise. Actually, the class was mildly interesting. It was nice to have a refresher on some things. Although they did start at the very beginning. When the instructor began with "The heart has 4 chambers", I thought, "Oh dear." At the same moment, my friend Cher leaned over and said, "It's going to be a very long day." The material did get more exciting, particularly for me since I have my ACLS certification and was previously telemetry certified. I wowed the crowd by pointing out the proper atropine dosage for symptomatic bradycardia, according to the most recent ACLS guidelines, and by making the point that a dose of atropine is far less painful for the patient than transcutaneous pacing. Actually, I only pointed that out to my fellow UWMC 6NE crew in the back row... and half of them were asleep... so really I only wowed myself. And I am pretty easily impressed. :)

For our lunch break, I went with Cher, Ashley, and Abdul (all nurses from my floor) over to Northgate Mall. I might have been the first person ever to bring a bag lunch to the food court, but it was fun nevertheless. Actually, I really enjoyed hanging out with them outside the hospital. It was good to get to know them a bit better without the pressure of work. On the other hand, they did hear me singing along with the radio in the car. Hm. Maybe not such a good idea. But they were singing along, too, so it's ok, I think!

I managed to stay awake for the entire class (a major accomplishment), and we managed to capture cell phone pics of those colleagues who fell asleep... which made me glad I stayed awake. Not that we'd show them to Eric (our manager) or anything. Actually, I think he'd find them hilarious. :)

Time to go get cracking on cooking some dinner. Found some steak in my freezer, so I am looking forward to eating a home-cooked meal! Of course I have to cook it first...

Reading is Sexy

Jon Stewart on the Simpsons = hilarious. Just catching up on last night's epsiode as I write... my Tivo gets me. (To quote Andy quoting the ad!) :)

Headed out to work in a few minutes. The next couple of weeks have some odd scheduling because I'm doing telemetry classes 1 day a week. So it means that I'm working evenings for tonight and tomorrow, then have class on Wednesday at 7 am... after getting off work at 11:30 pm. Which stinks. But I am looking forward to spending 8 glorious hours learning about heart rhythms! Actually, I am mostly looking forward to sitting in the back of the auditorium with my friend Cher and goofing off. (Mom, Dad, if you're reading this... I will be in the front row, taking copious notes.)

Nothing too exciting to report since the last post. But it has been less than 12 hours... and I asleep for many of those hours, so I guess its ok. :) This morning it was good to relax and spend some much needed time in the Word and in prayer. Then I spent an hour on the couch with the latest Aaron Elkins novel, "Tiny Little Teeth"... I am determined to finish it before the library overdue fines kick in! I've been waiting for it on ILL (interlibrary loan, for those of you who don't know the cool lingo) since September, so it is great to be able to finally read it! So far it is ok, not one of my favorites, but I am only half way through. And there aren't even any bones yet, so it is sure to pick up! :)

There is a bumper sticker from the Seattle Public Library on my refrigerator that says, "Reading is Sexy". I certainly hope so!

Nothing Less

It's been a busy weekend! Worked Saturday night and was glad to finally have a day off today. Not that I had any big plans.... just slept in and hung out for a while. I was glad that I was able to go to church tonight-- I hate working on Sundays!

Mike gave a really good sermon, continuing the series on the life of Peter. Tonight was from Luke 22, where Peter denies Jesus at the trial, and the sermon was all about failure. The Holy Spirit works in amazing ways... tonight it was just what I needed. It really got me thinking about how sometimes we get over our heads in terms of sin. Lately I've been feeling like my struggle with sin has just left me feeling like a failure. Mike pointed out tonight in the sermon that failure is inevitable because Satan is involved... but that Satan answers to God. That really captured my attention because I hadn't really thought about it like that before. And the illustration of Jesus praying for Simon (not "Peter") is awesome: "But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." (verse 32) Can you imagine? Jesus praying, pleading... for me. Wow. And note that Jesus says "when you have turned back". Not if. When.

I won't attempt to recap the sermon any further for fear I will butcher it. But I like the idea of using your experiences to strengthen your brothers, once you've turned back. I only pray that my struggles can someday be used for the good of ministry! Mike mentioned Psalm 51 tonight... it had been a while since I read it, and as I looked at it during the Lord's Supper, David's prayer really became a prayer for me. I highly encourage you to check it out! :)

We sang a couple of great songs tonight, too, which I find the Holy Spirit often uses in my life. Tonight one of my favorite hymns really touched me:

His oath, His covenant, His blood, support me in the whelming flood. When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my Hope and Stay. On Christ the solid rock I stand; all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand.

It's late, so I better get to bed. Long work week ahead and all that. Sigh.

Resolutions

We were talking at work the other day about New Year's resolutions. I don't really have any this year... I kind of made my resolutions last summer. New start and all that jazz. Besides, I like to look at it two ways. First, the big picture, beyond 2008. Last year I started a list of things I want to do before I turn 30. (Visit all 50 US states, climb the REI rock wall downtown, go back to visit Germany, find the man of my dreams, run a 5K, etc. etc.) It's a random list, and some of the items will require quite a bit of planning. And God's grace. But it's neat to look towards the future!

The other way I approach the whole resolution idea is that every day is a new one. Maybe it's because I'm a nurse and see everyday what kind of curveballs life can give you. I've written about this a lot lately, I guess. But I have been realizing that life is short, and every single day is a gift from God. So instead of procrastinating, my goal recently has been to live each day to the fullest. Of course, that doesn't mean that one should live recklessly... "for tomorrow we die". But my tendency has been to put off for tomorrow (or next month, or later this year) when I need to start doing today. New Year's resolutions usually last until what, February? March? But if you treat every day like the first day of a new year, then maybe something can be accomplished. At least thats my goal. :)

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Smokey Takes a Bath

I got cancelled from work tonight (too many nurses, not enough patients!) so I decided to be productive. I have been choking on too much cat hair lately, so I cleaned my apartment top to bottom (ok, except for the guest room which is still a pig-sty). Then I decided to attack the problem at the source. No, I didn't shave Smokes. But I did give her a bath!

My pretty girl has no idea what's coming next!

Rub a dub dub, Smokey in the tub

Smokey decided to take revenge by settling her very wet self right on my bed. Thanks, Bear. :)

So you want to be a nurse

When people hear I'm a nurse, they usually have one of a few reactions. First, they proceed to list all their health problems, in the hope that I have some sort of advice or sympathy. The second possible reaction comes from people who actually have some idea what it is that nurses do... "Wow. I don't know how you people do what you do!" And the third, and possibly most common response is: "Oh, I have a [sister, daughter, third-cousin-once-removed] who wants to be a nurse. Any advice?" This last question was posed to me tonight, so I thought I'd try formulating an answer.

Usually when I get that question, I have 2 possible answers... either "Good, we need more nurses!" or "Don't do it!". Which answer I choose pretty much depends on how my most recent shift went! :) Seriously, though, the world needs more nurses, and soon. Most people are completely unaware of the severity of the nursing shortage in the US... and it is only getting worse as baby boomers get older. Not only because that represents a huge number of people who are reaching an age where they need healthcare, but also because the nurses of that generation are retiring with no one to replace them.

When I went to nursing school, my grandmother used to say, "I don't understand why on earth anyone would want to empty bedpans for a living. Except maybe you could marry a doctor." I tried to convince her that that was an outdated view, that nursing was so much more. And don't get me wrong... it is. But there are days when I wonder why on earth I chose a job that involves so many bodily fluids!! Sometimes it really is just about emptying bedpans. But then you have a moment where you do something that completely impacts someone's life and it is totally worth it. The key is to have more of the latter and less of the former! :)

Other little bits of advice:
* I saw a t-shirt once that said "Nursing: The Hardest Job You'll Ever Love". I totally agree.
* Being a nurse takes a special kind of person... you gotta want to be a nurse. Not a job one can do just for the money, at least not for very long.
* Study hard in nursing school; it will come in handy. And realize that most of what you do on a daily basis, nobody ever mentioned in nursing school!
* You will be dealing with the public. If you have ever dealt with the general public, then you know what I am getting at. People can be, well... let's just say that nursing has not generally made me a fan of the human race. Maybe I am cynical. Sorry.
* Along the same lines, you will see all sorts of things. Not just gross medical things (which you will), but about humans. Racism. Hatred. Evil. Love. Hope. Everything you can imagine, and some things you can't even fathom. I once had 2 elderly WWII vets in the same room break out in a fight... one was Japanese, the other American. Didn't see that one coming!
* Death is inevitable. And you can't ever be prepared. Post-mortem care is one of my least favorite things. Neither is dealing with grieving family members. Or watching someone die. (Check out previous blog posts for my thoughts on this subject.)
* Nursing requires a lot of brain power. And sometimes muscles. :) And definitely a strong stomach!
* You can't choose your patients. If you take that oath, you are committed. Even if you don't want to, sometimes. That can be really hard if you are trying to help someone, and they are cursing at you or sometimes even trying to hurt you. Ever try to put a grown man in restraints while he spits at you and calls you names that would make a sailor blush? Yeah you don't hear about that in nursing school.

I don't mean to sound pessimistic or scare people away. If I knew what I was getting into, I probably never would have become a nurse. But I did it because I knew that was what God wanted me to do, even if I didn't understand why. And lately I have had some amazing experiences that made me think, "Now this is why I became a nurse." If you've read previous posts, you know about the 19 year old patient who recently died and the time I spent with him in the week or two beforehand, just sitting and listening to him talk about death. I haven't written about the latest patient that's been on my mind. She really got to me, and it's been just too much to think about. But let me just say that working with her was the reason I became a nurse... to have that kind of of impact. Of course, I got too attached, got too close, and even though that meant she got the best care I could possibly give, it meant that I went home and couldn't stop thinking about her.

Being a nurse has made me grow up. It's how I became an adult... which is probably a good thing. I was thinking the other day about how somehow I became a grown-up, with a pension and everything. How'd that happen? I wondered how it was that over the last year or two I had matured so much. I realized that it was when I became a nurse.

Bottom line? If you want a job where you can literally change lives, nursing might be for you. And it will be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life. But it can be awesome.