I own one fan, and set it up in the bedroom... came back a few minutes later and what did I find? Smokey positioned herself directly in front of the fan!! :-D Silly cat.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Hot!
It was a steamy weekend in Seattle... over 90 degrees both Saturday and Sunday!! Went to the beach on Satuday, which was so much fun, although I did get a little sunburned. Hopefully it will turn into a nice tan, however! Seems like summer has finally arrived here... I turned off my heat in my house only like a week or two ago, so it's about time things warmed up! Of course, the locals mark July 4 as the official start to summer in Seattle, so maybe we're actually EARLY! :) I took this picture yesterday... what a gorgeous day!
I am in the middle of a long weekend off from work. It is a much needed break, as work has the capacity to stress me out. This week I transitioned back to day shifts, which is great for my life outside of work, but it brings other types of stress, too. Someone pointed out to me recently that the majority of our time is spent in the workplace, and that if we are stressed out by our jobs, well, then... maybe something needs to change. Because it's not healthy to live like that! Anyway.
Just got back from church. Sigh. I am so conflicted about so many things. This isn't the right forum to discuss most of them, but honestly... I just don't feel like this church is the right place for me. There are some good people there, though, and I guess that's why I keep going, in spite of the myriad reasons to switch. I know I will end up someplace else, eventually, but for the time being, I am sticking it out there. Tonight I got a parking space right in front of the building, which was seriously an answer to prayer. Last week I was so upset and frankly, angry when I walked into the doors of the church that it just wasn't the right frame of mind for worship. I won't get on my soapbox here, but I simply couldn't prepare my heart for the Lord when I was thinking about the drug dealers in the parking lot and whether it was even safe for me to be coming alone. To church!! Sigh. I feel that soapbox creeping in, so I will stop.
Happier topics! I had a good time with Ingrid this afternoon. It was too hot to do much other than drink blueberry smoothies and sit and talk, but seriously... what else is better?! :) I made plans with Sarah tonight to go walk around Green Lake later this week, which is awesome, too.
Not much else going on. I'm still not finished with the wall quilt, as it is taking me forever to hand sew the binding on. Maybe it just SEEMS like forever because I am so close to being done! :)
Time to do some cleaning up around the house and maybe scrounge up some dinner. And contemplate what to do tomorrow since I am off work a few more days!!
I am in the middle of a long weekend off from work. It is a much needed break, as work has the capacity to stress me out. This week I transitioned back to day shifts, which is great for my life outside of work, but it brings other types of stress, too. Someone pointed out to me recently that the majority of our time is spent in the workplace, and that if we are stressed out by our jobs, well, then... maybe something needs to change. Because it's not healthy to live like that! Anyway.Just got back from church. Sigh. I am so conflicted about so many things. This isn't the right forum to discuss most of them, but honestly... I just don't feel like this church is the right place for me. There are some good people there, though, and I guess that's why I keep going, in spite of the myriad reasons to switch. I know I will end up someplace else, eventually, but for the time being, I am sticking it out there. Tonight I got a parking space right in front of the building, which was seriously an answer to prayer. Last week I was so upset and frankly, angry when I walked into the doors of the church that it just wasn't the right frame of mind for worship. I won't get on my soapbox here, but I simply couldn't prepare my heart for the Lord when I was thinking about the drug dealers in the parking lot and whether it was even safe for me to be coming alone. To church!! Sigh. I feel that soapbox creeping in, so I will stop.
Happier topics! I had a good time with Ingrid this afternoon. It was too hot to do much other than drink blueberry smoothies and sit and talk, but seriously... what else is better?! :) I made plans with Sarah tonight to go walk around Green Lake later this week, which is awesome, too.
Not much else going on. I'm still not finished with the wall quilt, as it is taking me forever to hand sew the binding on. Maybe it just SEEMS like forever because I am so close to being done! :)
Time to do some cleaning up around the house and maybe scrounge up some dinner. And contemplate what to do tomorrow since I am off work a few more days!!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The Elusive 50
I just got back a few minutes ago from running! I made it 1.6 miles without stopping (including that lovely hill on my street) or walking at all! That might not sound like a lot (unless you know me at all and then it will seem miraculous), but this is after yesterday, where I went 4 miles on the Burke-Gilman trail and ran about 3 of those miles! Two days in a row! Whoo-hoo!
One of my friends made me a "Training Packet" for the Seafair race in July. :) It has a calendar with the different training schedules for each week, plus stretching exercises and even a page of inspirational quotes! Pretty awesome. Of course, it is also totally ambitious... the schedule for the next month has about as many miles on it as I've done in the last 10 years! Haha. Maybe that is a slight exaggeration. But if I can complete this training as laid out.... man. I might actually be able to run the race after all!
I'm feeling particularly motivated to run. As I've mentioned before, the weight loss that was so spectacular a few months ago has slowed to a crawl lately. Today the scale held some good news... I have lost a total of 48.5 pounds!!! Which is great. However... I would really, really like to get past the 50 lb mark. Can you imagine? 50 pounds? That'd be so cool. It's being rather elusive, though.
Over the weekend, someone congratulated me on my success thus far and called me (are you ready for this?)... tiny. What?! Blew my mind. Still thinking about it. Wow.
You'll have to excuse my excitement and self-congratulatory tone. It is incredibly obnoxious, I know. :)
One of my friends made me a "Training Packet" for the Seafair race in July. :) It has a calendar with the different training schedules for each week, plus stretching exercises and even a page of inspirational quotes! Pretty awesome. Of course, it is also totally ambitious... the schedule for the next month has about as many miles on it as I've done in the last 10 years! Haha. Maybe that is a slight exaggeration. But if I can complete this training as laid out.... man. I might actually be able to run the race after all!
I'm feeling particularly motivated to run. As I've mentioned before, the weight loss that was so spectacular a few months ago has slowed to a crawl lately. Today the scale held some good news... I have lost a total of 48.5 pounds!!! Which is great. However... I would really, really like to get past the 50 lb mark. Can you imagine? 50 pounds? That'd be so cool. It's being rather elusive, though.
Over the weekend, someone congratulated me on my success thus far and called me (are you ready for this?)... tiny. What?! Blew my mind. Still thinking about it. Wow.
You'll have to excuse my excitement and self-congratulatory tone. It is incredibly obnoxious, I know. :)
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Japanese Office
I know I am behind the times, but I just watched the season finale of Saturday Night Live last night (thanks to TiVo). I laughed so hard at the latest SNL Digital Short that I had to pause it!!
Here it is:
"It's funny because it's racist!"
Here it is:
"It's funny because it's racist!"
Exhausted!
This is gonna be a quick one... I am so tired! What a GREAT weekend I had! It's been busy, but lots of fun. The sun decided to come out on Saturday, which was pretty awesome... it actually warmed up to 70 degrees! I suspect that tomorrow and Wednesday will be cloudy and cool again, because I have those days off from work. :)
Three more night shifts, then back on days next week! My next work schedule turned out to be pretty much ideal, with the minor exception of a 12 hr shift on July 4th... I wanted to work only an 8 and be done at 3:30, but the nice part is that I get 12 hrs of holiday pay, then, I guess. Other than that, it is a great schedule (for once), so I'm excited.
I am almost done hand-quilting my star wall quilt... only maybe an hour or two left and then binding it. Which means I get to use my sewing machine!! I'm really eager to get started on the king-size bed quilt, since that will likely take me years to finish. Haha. :) Right now the quilt on my bed is my high school graduation quilt, which is great but it is a throw-size and I have a queen bed!! So it looks a little silly. Anyway.
Well, time to get to bed!
Three more night shifts, then back on days next week! My next work schedule turned out to be pretty much ideal, with the minor exception of a 12 hr shift on July 4th... I wanted to work only an 8 and be done at 3:30, but the nice part is that I get 12 hrs of holiday pay, then, I guess. Other than that, it is a great schedule (for once), so I'm excited.
I am almost done hand-quilting my star wall quilt... only maybe an hour or two left and then binding it. Which means I get to use my sewing machine!! I'm really eager to get started on the king-size bed quilt, since that will likely take me years to finish. Haha. :) Right now the quilt on my bed is my high school graduation quilt, which is great but it is a throw-size and I have a queen bed!! So it looks a little silly. Anyway.
Well, time to get to bed!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Who's First?
Man, I need a new picture at the top of my blog!
Tonight's been an interesting night for me. They say God works in mysterious ways, but sometimes it is just amazing how things work out. I was sitting on my couch in my pjs, feeling sorry for myself... and a friend showed up at my door in a moment of need at around midnight. Obviously I won't violate her privacy, but it gave me an opportunity to minister to somebody in a way I'm not sure I've ever been able to do before. Some of the very things I was sitting there contemplating... well, I was able to share with her what I was thinking about. Which was awesome. As I am looking back over the last 24 hours, God has really been working in my heart and bringing some things to the forefront. Not everything is warm and fuzzy; rather, some of it is really tough... but necessary. The bottom line? God needs to be first in all our lives. Absolutely #1. Even before ourselves, which is the really hard part!
MercyMe has this song that I used to play all the time, "So Long Self". One of the lines popped into my head tonight: "Believe it or not, life is not apparently about me anyways." It's an ongoing revelation, I think... it really isn't about ME. It needs to be about Him.
I was reminded of a verse this evening, and it might seem trite because it is oft-quoted, but I don't mean it to be that way. Proverbs 3: Trust in the Lord with all your heart. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. My paths could definitely be straighter. And it doesn't say, "with some of your heart" or "many of your ways". Nope. ALL.
That's the hard part. Sigh.
Tonight's been an interesting night for me. They say God works in mysterious ways, but sometimes it is just amazing how things work out. I was sitting on my couch in my pjs, feeling sorry for myself... and a friend showed up at my door in a moment of need at around midnight. Obviously I won't violate her privacy, but it gave me an opportunity to minister to somebody in a way I'm not sure I've ever been able to do before. Some of the very things I was sitting there contemplating... well, I was able to share with her what I was thinking about. Which was awesome. As I am looking back over the last 24 hours, God has really been working in my heart and bringing some things to the forefront. Not everything is warm and fuzzy; rather, some of it is really tough... but necessary. The bottom line? God needs to be first in all our lives. Absolutely #1. Even before ourselves, which is the really hard part!
MercyMe has this song that I used to play all the time, "So Long Self". One of the lines popped into my head tonight: "Believe it or not, life is not apparently about me anyways." It's an ongoing revelation, I think... it really isn't about ME. It needs to be about Him.
I was reminded of a verse this evening, and it might seem trite because it is oft-quoted, but I don't mean it to be that way. Proverbs 3: Trust in the Lord with all your heart. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. My paths could definitely be straighter. And it doesn't say, "with some of your heart" or "many of your ways". Nope. ALL.
That's the hard part. Sigh.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Education Day
I got home from work a few minutes ago... I know, shocking, right? Getting home from work a bit after 5 pm?! But today was one of our twice-annual "education days" for the floor I work on. Basically, they gather up a room full of nurses from our floor (there are a couple days, since obviously you can't have everyone at once, haha!), and cover a wide variety of topics that we apparently need to be educated on.... for 8 hours.
It wasn't too bad, actually, since the topics were widely varied... from a "Jeopardy"-style game about the new computer system, to a couple of speakers on different topics (heparin drips! palliative care!), to hands-on demos/playing with equipment, it was fairly interesting. One of the first things we did was to get inserviced on the new ceiling-mounted lifts that are being installed... yes, to lift heavy and/or immobile people. Which meant that we were lifting each other with slings and machinery. Think cross between teambuilding and uh, hazing. Haha! :) It was fun, believe it or not. I usually am very self-conscious about that kind of physical stuff but it worked out ok. Lots of laughs! I mean, when there is a piece of material called a "dignity strap" whose entire purpose is to keep a person's legs together when lifting them... come on! Like a joke waiting to happen! :) Good times. And a nice break from the stress of working on the floor.
This is gonna be a quick post... I think I am going to take a little nap for a bit. Working tomorrow night, so I need to stay up all night tonight... which at the moment is going to be impossible as I am exhausted. I woke up this morning at 5 am! I had this nightmare and woke up with a start (don't you hate it when that happens!! Second time this week for me.) and then couldn't get back to sleep. Wide awake, nearly an hour and 45 minutes early. Sigh. It worked out though. Spent some time reading my Bible and over an hour praying! It was pretty crazy to glance at the clock when I was done and realize a whole hour went by. I never blog about this stuff, and maybe I shouldn't... but it kinda shaped my day, so I figured I better mention it.
Speaking of things I should mention... I ran 2 miles yesterday! I mentioned earlier this week that if I didn't blog about it, chances are that I didn't do it... so I figured I better blog it, in order to make it real! :)
OK, time to get some ibuprofen for my pounding headache. Sigh. Too much coffee, not enough sleep. :)
It wasn't too bad, actually, since the topics were widely varied... from a "Jeopardy"-style game about the new computer system, to a couple of speakers on different topics (heparin drips! palliative care!), to hands-on demos/playing with equipment, it was fairly interesting. One of the first things we did was to get inserviced on the new ceiling-mounted lifts that are being installed... yes, to lift heavy and/or immobile people. Which meant that we were lifting each other with slings and machinery. Think cross between teambuilding and uh, hazing. Haha! :) It was fun, believe it or not. I usually am very self-conscious about that kind of physical stuff but it worked out ok. Lots of laughs! I mean, when there is a piece of material called a "dignity strap" whose entire purpose is to keep a person's legs together when lifting them... come on! Like a joke waiting to happen! :) Good times. And a nice break from the stress of working on the floor.
This is gonna be a quick post... I think I am going to take a little nap for a bit. Working tomorrow night, so I need to stay up all night tonight... which at the moment is going to be impossible as I am exhausted. I woke up this morning at 5 am! I had this nightmare and woke up with a start (don't you hate it when that happens!! Second time this week for me.) and then couldn't get back to sleep. Wide awake, nearly an hour and 45 minutes early. Sigh. It worked out though. Spent some time reading my Bible and over an hour praying! It was pretty crazy to glance at the clock when I was done and realize a whole hour went by. I never blog about this stuff, and maybe I shouldn't... but it kinda shaped my day, so I figured I better mention it.
Speaking of things I should mention... I ran 2 miles yesterday! I mentioned earlier this week that if I didn't blog about it, chances are that I didn't do it... so I figured I better blog it, in order to make it real! :)
OK, time to get some ibuprofen for my pounding headache. Sigh. Too much coffee, not enough sleep. :)
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Exciting News!!
My little brother just got engaged!!!
I got a phone call as I was driving home from work a few minutes ago with the big news. :) Very exciting... and it makes me feel very old to have my little brother (who is taller than me, so I guess maybe not so little) getting married! Not that it was a shock or anything, but how cool is that?
I got a phone call as I was driving home from work a few minutes ago with the big news. :) Very exciting... and it makes me feel very old to have my little brother (who is taller than me, so I guess maybe not so little) getting married! Not that it was a shock or anything, but how cool is that?
Congratulations, Andy and Kelly!!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Boring!
Need to go to bed. So tired. But must post. :)
My parents made it to England just fine. Yay!! :) The link to their blog is on my links list, but for those too lazy to look to the right... it is: The Meneely Oxford Comma, yes, I know, a very academic reference! And the longest URL ever. :)
Last night was the first shift after 4 days off. Yikes. Bad night. Not looking forward to the next 5 nights!!
Not much else new around here... unless you care about me putting out my trash can for collection or the fact that I ate popcorn for dinner this morning. Haha. :) This is why I don't blog every day... my life is incredibly boring!!
So it is 45 degrees and raining in Seattle. In June. Sigh. I love this city, and the Pacific Northwest. But seriously? Does summer exist in this place?! Just as well... good sleeping weather. At least I'm not missing anything!
The past few days, these verses from 1 Corinthians 13 have been on my mind. "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongdoings..." I'm always reminded of that scene from the movie "Wedding Crashers" where they bet on which Bible passage will be read. :) But seriously, folks! How amazing is that lesson... patient... kind... not keeping a tally. Something to strive for, certainly. I've realized lately that I'm not there yet. But figuring it out. Slowly but surely. :) What a wonderful gift.
Alrighty... time for bed!
My parents made it to England just fine. Yay!! :) The link to their blog is on my links list, but for those too lazy to look to the right... it is: The Meneely Oxford Comma, yes, I know, a very academic reference! And the longest URL ever. :)
Last night was the first shift after 4 days off. Yikes. Bad night. Not looking forward to the next 5 nights!!
Not much else new around here... unless you care about me putting out my trash can for collection or the fact that I ate popcorn for dinner this morning. Haha. :) This is why I don't blog every day... my life is incredibly boring!!
So it is 45 degrees and raining in Seattle. In June. Sigh. I love this city, and the Pacific Northwest. But seriously? Does summer exist in this place?! Just as well... good sleeping weather. At least I'm not missing anything!
The past few days, these verses from 1 Corinthians 13 have been on my mind. "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongdoings..." I'm always reminded of that scene from the movie "Wedding Crashers" where they bet on which Bible passage will be read. :) But seriously, folks! How amazing is that lesson... patient... kind... not keeping a tally. Something to strive for, certainly. I've realized lately that I'm not there yet. But figuring it out. Slowly but surely. :) What a wonderful gift.
Alrighty... time for bed!
Monday, June 2, 2008
Run, Alison, Run!
At the moment, I am very red-faced and sweaty, and feel a bit nauseated. But it's actually a good thing. Just got back from running! Yes, it has been a while... don't think that I have been running all this time and just not blogging about it. I hate running enough that I feel the need to mention it in my blog every time I do it!! :) So if I haven't mentioned it... haven't been doing it.
Yesterday was the first time in at least a month that I went running. I've exercised, sure... gone for walks or done my favorite workout DVD (learned my lesson about kickboxing when angry and was sore for several days!). But yesterday was the first time I actually put on my running shoes and ran. Might not have done it if it weren't for a friend who pushed me to come along and go for a trail run at Carkeek... note to self... pick running partners who are NOT former cross-country champs. Yikes. Honestly, I didn't make it very far yesterday. I will blame it on the hills. And all that fresh Northwest air. Too many pine needles underfoot. Or... uh... maybe I am just really out of shape. :) But it was good to get out there.
Thus encouraged, I decided to venture out and run again today. I've been rather panicked this weekend as it occurred to me that it is now June, and the Seafair race is only 54 days away. Less than 2 months until I need to be able to run 8K!! I was doing pretty good for a while in terms of building up my running ability. But man, I feel like I am back at square one. Today I set my goal to run 2 miles... something I was able to do a couple of months ago. I mapped out my route, laced up my shoes, cranked up the iPod, stretched (never cold, as I've been taught!) and was off. It started out great. Then I was reminded how hilly Seattle is! I won't lie. I did not run the full 2 miles. I walked about 13 blocks in the middle of it (however far that is). Definitely set the bar a little high for today. Pushed myself to the point where I realized that I was about a mile from home and I thought I might collapse! Luckily I did not, nor did I throw up like I felt like I might. (OK, I know, I know, TMI.)
Yet even though I've been home a few minutes and my lungs are still ON FIRE, I feel pretty good. Because that was farther than I've run the last 3 weeks... combined. :)
Not only was I encouraged my trail run/walk yesterday and my attempt at running today, but I also had a really exciting moment yesterday at church. Someone who hadn't seen me in like 2 months came up and whispered to me... and asked whether I'd lost weight while they were out of the country. It caught me off guard and totally made my day. :) I have been very discouraged lately and frustrated with myself about my weight, and it was nice to have someone randomly point out how far I've come. Just what I needed.
Well, I should go take a shower and do some errands. It's amazing... I've had the last 3 days off from work, and I still have the longest list of things to accomplish. It's neverending!
Yesterday was the first time in at least a month that I went running. I've exercised, sure... gone for walks or done my favorite workout DVD (learned my lesson about kickboxing when angry and was sore for several days!). But yesterday was the first time I actually put on my running shoes and ran. Might not have done it if it weren't for a friend who pushed me to come along and go for a trail run at Carkeek... note to self... pick running partners who are NOT former cross-country champs. Yikes. Honestly, I didn't make it very far yesterday. I will blame it on the hills. And all that fresh Northwest air. Too many pine needles underfoot. Or... uh... maybe I am just really out of shape. :) But it was good to get out there.
Thus encouraged, I decided to venture out and run again today. I've been rather panicked this weekend as it occurred to me that it is now June, and the Seafair race is only 54 days away. Less than 2 months until I need to be able to run 8K!! I was doing pretty good for a while in terms of building up my running ability. But man, I feel like I am back at square one. Today I set my goal to run 2 miles... something I was able to do a couple of months ago. I mapped out my route, laced up my shoes, cranked up the iPod, stretched (never cold, as I've been taught!) and was off. It started out great. Then I was reminded how hilly Seattle is! I won't lie. I did not run the full 2 miles. I walked about 13 blocks in the middle of it (however far that is). Definitely set the bar a little high for today. Pushed myself to the point where I realized that I was about a mile from home and I thought I might collapse! Luckily I did not, nor did I throw up like I felt like I might. (OK, I know, I know, TMI.)
Yet even though I've been home a few minutes and my lungs are still ON FIRE, I feel pretty good. Because that was farther than I've run the last 3 weeks... combined. :)
Not only was I encouraged my trail run/walk yesterday and my attempt at running today, but I also had a really exciting moment yesterday at church. Someone who hadn't seen me in like 2 months came up and whispered to me... and asked whether I'd lost weight while they were out of the country. It caught me off guard and totally made my day. :) I have been very discouraged lately and frustrated with myself about my weight, and it was nice to have someone randomly point out how far I've come. Just what I needed.
Well, I should go take a shower and do some errands. It's amazing... I've had the last 3 days off from work, and I still have the longest list of things to accomplish. It's neverending!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Reflections on June 1
I've been looking forward to this day since December. In my mind, June 1 was this goal date, when things would be different. On some of those incredibly tough days this past winter, my focus was simply to make it through to June.
And yet here I am, on the evening of June 1, thinking about the next segment of the journey, and realizing that today didn't really bring the things I thought that it might. Maybe this is a lesson in focusing on the wrong things. Sure, putting a date on something makes time seem finite. That long road ahead has an end point, and even if it is a speck on the distance, you can see it coming. On my way along that road, I've reached that speck... and have realized that it was just a refueling station. There is still a very long road ahead. And even though ultimately, the reward will be amazing, I'm looking at a road with no discernable end point. I feel like begging for someone to map it out, to tell me exactly how much farther to go, and what to expect. Will there be hills? Rivers to ford or deserts to cross? Or will it be flat and manageable, with a beautiful view? Despite my yearning to know all the answers... maybe that's not the idea. Maybe the point is that I perservere along this path, and trust that God will not only equip me for any obstacles (or stumbling blocks as the case may be) I might encounter, but the one day, I will be making my way, fully trusting Him, and I will come over the crest of a hill... and discover I have reached the end of the journey, without even realizing how close I was.
I know I've dragged out the illustration, but that's the only way I can describe how I'm feeling right now. Honestly, I've had some moments recently where I've gotten very angry. I felt like I'd been cheated or misled... "here's the end point... haha, just kidding... it's only the beginning!" But that attitude will get me nothing. Because ultimately it is not mine to control. Whether I'm angry or not, I'm still at that same point in the road. And the road still stretches ahead, whether I like it or not. I wonder what would happen if instead of spending all my time focusing on my anger and frustration... I just kept on going. Trusting God. Praying. Having faith that this journey will end at the right time, in the right way. And if He's in control, that the reward will be beyond my wildest imagination. :-)
This has been a cryptic blog... but I think most of my readers will understand that to which I refer. And despite the depressed tone of this and my last post, I'm really doing ok. Better than I thought I would be. Not that I'm necessarily pleased... it would have been really nice to have June 1 bring the things I'd hoped it would. Really nice. But since it didn't... gotta keep on.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart.
And yet here I am, on the evening of June 1, thinking about the next segment of the journey, and realizing that today didn't really bring the things I thought that it might. Maybe this is a lesson in focusing on the wrong things. Sure, putting a date on something makes time seem finite. That long road ahead has an end point, and even if it is a speck on the distance, you can see it coming. On my way along that road, I've reached that speck... and have realized that it was just a refueling station. There is still a very long road ahead. And even though ultimately, the reward will be amazing, I'm looking at a road with no discernable end point. I feel like begging for someone to map it out, to tell me exactly how much farther to go, and what to expect. Will there be hills? Rivers to ford or deserts to cross? Or will it be flat and manageable, with a beautiful view? Despite my yearning to know all the answers... maybe that's not the idea. Maybe the point is that I perservere along this path, and trust that God will not only equip me for any obstacles (or stumbling blocks as the case may be) I might encounter, but the one day, I will be making my way, fully trusting Him, and I will come over the crest of a hill... and discover I have reached the end of the journey, without even realizing how close I was.
I know I've dragged out the illustration, but that's the only way I can describe how I'm feeling right now. Honestly, I've had some moments recently where I've gotten very angry. I felt like I'd been cheated or misled... "here's the end point... haha, just kidding... it's only the beginning!" But that attitude will get me nothing. Because ultimately it is not mine to control. Whether I'm angry or not, I'm still at that same point in the road. And the road still stretches ahead, whether I like it or not. I wonder what would happen if instead of spending all my time focusing on my anger and frustration... I just kept on going. Trusting God. Praying. Having faith that this journey will end at the right time, in the right way. And if He's in control, that the reward will be beyond my wildest imagination. :-)
This has been a cryptic blog... but I think most of my readers will understand that to which I refer. And despite the depressed tone of this and my last post, I'm really doing ok. Better than I thought I would be. Not that I'm necessarily pleased... it would have been really nice to have June 1 bring the things I'd hoped it would. Really nice. But since it didn't... gotta keep on.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart.
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