New Year's Eve

I went out for a drive tonight. It was good to clear my head... KZOK was doing their top rock and roll songs of all time, so I enjoyed a little car-karaoke. :) Ended up at Kerry Park, where I tried out the new camera with some night pics. It would be an awesome place to watch the fireworks tonight, but it was so cold. And I was about 5 hours early for the fireworks!

Here are some of the pictures I took. All of them can be seen on my Picasa page (link on the right) if you are interested!






A couple of songs I heard tonight resonated with me. Started out the "rock block" with the Beatles, "Let It Be"... then the Rolling Stones ("Can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need..."). As I was pulling into my driveway, I heard some wise words from Fleetwood Mac:

If you wake up and don't want to smile
If it takes just a little while
Open your eyes and look at the day
You'll see things in a different way

Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, it'll soon be here
It'll be here, better than before
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone

Why not think about the times to come
And not about the things that you've done
If your life was bad to you
Just think what tomorrow will do

Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, it'll soon be here
It'll be here, better than before
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone

Seemed appropriate for New Year's Eve. :)

Cinnamon Rolls

I have the best family ever. My doorbell just rang, and there was this priority mail box sitting on my doormat. I wasn't expecting anything, and was confused for a moment. Who sent me something, and what? I'd already gotten all my Christmas presents. Hm. So I open the box (which turned out to be from my parents), and was very pleasantly surprised. My mom sent me cinnamon rolls!

Now to explain. My Grandma Meneely had her famous "Mazola Oil Roll" recipe, which was passed down in the family to all the sons and daughters-in-law (although the recipe was different... which is a whole other story!). Each Meneely clan does it a bit differently... my uncle Tim makes the dinner roll version (amazing!), while my mom bakes the cinnamon rolls once a year at Christmas. In our house, Christmas Eve is cinnamon roll day. As a kid, I remember watching the dough rise (is it there yet?) and being very excited to help make the glaze. Although I somehow always got the job of cutting the pecans. :) It's a big recipe (hello, came from a mother of 5 boys!) so one pan goes in the freezer for New Year's, and the other pan is for Christmas. Usually we are impatient and completely ruin our Christmas Eve dinner with one straight from the oven, and then we always have them for breakfast on Christmas morning (in later years accompanied by an eggnog latte). The other pan comes out for New Year's Day breakfast. and they are just as good!

I have the recipe, and last Christmas one of my gifts was the special pan necessary. I could have made them this year, but somehow it just wasn't the same. And what was I going to do with a massive number of cinnamon rolls? I am only one person! (Of course, I AM a Meneely, but that totally goes against the whole "losing weight" plan!!)

So you can imagine the smile on my face when I discovered I would have some for New Year's! Pretty cool.

Lazy Sunday, Part 2

It has come to my attention that the title of my last post was a somewhat obscure reference. So for everyone who may have missed this classic SNL clip, here's the link (I am too lazy to embed the video, sorry!):

SNL's "Lazy Sunday"

"It's all about the Hamiltons, baby!"

Lazy Sunday

Gotta make this a quick post-- headed out to work in a little bit. Yesterday I decided to move my computer down to the living room for a few days, just to shake things up. That way, I can watch TV while chatting or surfing the net. Multitask all my non-productive activities! :) Not the most comfortable way to type, but I am catching up on all the stuff on my Tivo that I haven't had time to watch!

I've really enjoyed having the last 2 days off from work. It's been good to have some time to relax. Last night I slept better than I have in weeks. It was great! Today's been pretty lazy, just doing some laundry and cleaning the apartment. Tomorrow I'm off work, too, so I'm trying to decide how to spend my free day. It's the last one I have for a while... working Tuesday-Saturday evenings the rest of this week.

No New Year's Eve plans, but since I have to be at work at 7 am on New Year's Day, I am kind of glad. Will probably just hang out with Smokey and watch a movie. :)I don't remember what the traditions in Seattle are (I think there is a ball that goes down the Space Needle, or at least there used to be!), but I feel like it would be a little silly to watch New Year's in Times Square on tape delay. :) So maybe I will have to create a new tradition for myself. We'll see... maybe I'll just go to bed early!

Hi ho, hi ho... off to work I go. :)

A Late Parrot

Just in case you might need a laugh...




"He's pining for the fjords!"

30

I've been working on being more open and honest lately, to live my life more authentically, to try to keep from building a wall between me and the rest of the world. This blog has been a huge part of that... putting my thoughts out there for everyone to read, and not worrying about what people might think of me...its tough for me to do, but I think it has been good for me.

So in light of my attempt to live transparently, I thought I'd better share something that I very rarely talk about. Anyone who has known me for a while knows that I have always struggled with my weight. What can I say? Combine the Meneely Metabolism with my tendency to be an emotional eater, then throw in some rough times in my life... and no wonder I got so heavy! I blame nobody but myself, though, because am totally responsible for getting myself to this point. This past spring, I realized that my life needed to change. My job was killing me (PTSD, anyone?), I had few friends in Philly (and none were Christians), my weight was totally out of control, and my faith had hit a stagnant point. Essentially I was completely miserable. I decided to take some vacation time and go to Seattle to clear my head. I had been here less than 12 hours when God smacked me upside the head and it was obvious that He was calling me to move here. Of course, I tried to think of all the reasons why randomly moving 3000 miles was impossible. But then I realized something. Why not?

When I was planning the move, I knew one thing for sure. This was my chance to start over, to start living the kind of life God wanted me to live, and the kind of life I needed to be living. It was a huge leap of faith, but God carried me through the moving process and worked everything out better than I could have ever imagined! To paraphrase Bon Jovi, I was moving on a prayer. (Hey, I'm still a Philly girl in some ways!)

One of the biggest things that had to change was my weight. I was tired of being overweight. My mom and I used to talk about what it would be like when I moved to Seattle, where being active is so much more a way of life than in Philly (where cheesesteaks are the way of life!). I promised myself that I would take the opportunity God was giving me and start living my life the way I knew I should be.

So with all that preface, let me reluctantly (because honestly, who likes talking about their weight?) say that I have officially lost 30 pounds since I moved to Seattle! Its pretty amazing to look at pictures from this summer and see the difference. Now there's still a ways to go before I reach my goal, but I am well on my way, and reaching this point has really been encouraging. :) When I look at how I lost 30 pounds in 4 months, I realize that maybe I can indeed reach my goal by summer! (But don't expect me to start wearing a bathing suit or anything, haha!)

How did I celebrate this milestone, you may ask? Today I ran on the Burke-Gilman Trail from Ballard to Gasworks Park and back... about 4 miles total. Ok, so I didn't run the whole way. Maybe half? Took a lot of walking breaks. :) When I got to Gasworks, I stood on top of the kite-flying hill (one of my favorite spots in Seattle!) and just looked out over Lake Union and tried not to cry. Because I stood in that same spot in April, trying to decide if I had the strength to uproot my life and move out on my own to Seattle. And to be honest, I was really proud of myself for everything that has happened since then. (This is going to be a totally selfish post, in case you hadn't already noticed!) The lyrics to the song that came on my iPod as I was standing there on the hill seemed particuarly fitting... "If you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted-- would you capture it? Or would you let it slip?" (Forgive me for quoting Eminem!) I'm really glad I chose to take the opportunity!

The other thing I did tonight was go shopping. Not to celebrate, exactly, but because I have now reached the point where literally my pants are falling off. Which is pretty awesome. Not something I'm used to. :) Since it reached the point of absolute necessity, I did something I usually don't really enjoy... trying on clothes. And promptly had an emotional breakdown in the fitting room at Ross. I didn't know what size would fit me at this point, so I brought a bunch of different ones in... and they were too big. Crazy! When I finally found some jeans that fit, I just stood there in front of the mirror, crying like a big dork, because I haven't worn that size in at least 4 years. (No, I will not share the number, but suffice it to say that my mom was shocked when I told her!) When I finally dried my tears and left the dressing room, I almost hugged the Russian lady working the counter when she asked in her limited English whether I was ok. And when I told her that I fit into a size (blank), she broke into a smile and congratulated me. :) By the way, I have never randomly told a stranger what size jeans I wear. I guess I am turning over new leaves left and right!

Anyway, this has been a really self-centered post, but I felt like it was a subject that needed to be addressed, if I am going to strive to live an honest, transparent life. And to wrap up some loose ends... moving here was the best thing I ever did. I have never once regretted the decision, and certainly learned an amazing lesson about the miracles that God can work if you just trust him. My job is stressful, yes, but not like in Philly. I have amazing friends, and better yet, friends that are awesome Christians who can keep me accountable. I have never been so happy as I have been the last couple of months! It's been pretty cool. :)

Finally, there is one goal that I secretly want to strive for. Only my parents know about this goal (and I doubt they even remember me ever mentioning it). I figure if I write it here, out on the internet, where there are no secrets, maybe I will have a better chance of accomplishing it! Right before I moved, I realized I was missing SeaFair by a few days. Sad, I know. But I decided that next summer I would run the SeaFair Torchlight Run. Actually, I initially decided to run the shorter 5K version. Today I decided to up the ante and see if I can do the 8K run. It's awesome... they close the Alaskan Way viaduct for the race. Pretty cool. Of course, I will be happy if I can WALK the route, since it is super hilly. Anyway, that's the goal. We'll see what happens. :)

The Beach

I've written some long posts lately (guess I have a lot on my mind), and I apologize that this one is, too! Where to begin? I still have a lot of stuff from yesterday's post that I could go into, since it's still swirling around my brain. But too much to discuss and not enough time today. :)

I wrote a couple of posts ago about starting new traditions when I moved to Seattle. One of the great things about my apartment is that I can be on the beach in less than 10 minutes from leaving my front door! Can't do that in Philly. I love living so close to Carkeek Park and Golden Gardens because being outside, even in a little pocket in the city, is something that helps clear my head. When the weather is not too bad, and I have some time, one of my favorite things to do is hike from my house through Carkeek down to the beach. (Ok, it's technically a walk, but there are some big hills and it is in the woods, and I am out of shape... so I have decided it is a hike!) In the fall, it was something I did a couple times a week. Now that the weather is nastier, it isn't quite as often, but it is still something I enjoy. My routine varies... if I am walking, I usually listen to TWIT or another podcast (gotta get my geek fix!) until I get to the beach, or if I am driving, well, the drive is so quick there's no time to listen to anything! :)

But once I get to the beach, I somehow end up doing pretty much one thing. Sit on a rock way at the end (unless it is high tide and my special rock is underwater... then it has to be a log!) and spend time with God. Sometimes I read my Bible, or other times just sit and pray, but somehow being alone on the beach lets me forget everything else and focus on Him. A few weeks (month?) ago I was sitting there contemplating a sermon I'd heard Mike Vederoff give at Hope about Jesus calming the storm (uh oh, I'm slipping into a discussion of Matthew again! Oops... but it is chapter 14 so that doesn't count, right?) and was just watching the waves and thinking about Peter sinking into the water. "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" Another time I was sitting there praying and saw a man wade out into the water, fishing. It made me think of Jesus calling the disciples. :)

Anyway, today I went to Carkeek for the first time in over a week, although I drove because it was freezing and raining. But it was good to sit in my car overlooking the water and spent some time in the Word and in prayer. Lately I've been thinking a lot about God's plan for my life, and being patient and trusting in Him, rather than trying to impose my own plan or timetable on things.

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:25-28

(Ok, I will stop here but I could go on and on and quote all of Romans 8!! Sorry.) Anyway, that's what I was contemplating this morning. I like that it says that the Spirit intercedes with groans that words cannot express... lately I have been feeling like I don't have always have the right words and I am glad that He understands the groans, too! :)

Took a couple of pictures (of course). Not too many because of the rain, but here are a select few.

View from my car

Piper's Creek

Random leaf on a rock. Artistic shot! :)

Bookmarks

The other night I was looking through one of my Bibles that I don't use particularly often (it's one from high school and a little beat up!) and I was checking out all the places where I'd left a bookmark. Years ago I'd concocted a little ribbon device since I thought that the one ribbon that came in the Bible was simply not sufficient for marking the important stuff, which means that I might as well not have any ribbons at all! But anyway, I was reading through the passages I'd flagged, and noticed that the book spine is actually a little bit cracked at one spot, so I wondered what passage was so important over the years that literally the Bible falls open to it. (Building the suspense here...)

Like I said, I've been using a different Bible lately, so when I discovered where this one opened to, it made me smile. It also gave me a bit of a chill down my spine (funny how that happens sometimes, huh?) because at that moment in time, it was exactly the verses I needed to be reading. Here I had curled up in my bed with the Word, knowing I needed something, but not sure where to look, or even what I needed... just knowing that I needed to be with God. And he led me to the page that contains the second half of Matthew 6 through the first half of chapter 8. I encourage you to check it out sometime, but here are my thoughts on the subject. :)

Anyone that knows me well knows that I am someone who worries. I've gotten better about it over the last few years; maybe my faith has grown, who knows. But I've always loved Matthew 6... "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (vs 27)... "For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." (32-34) This passage has gotten me through some rough times over the years, and when I look at it now, I realize that all the stuff I used to worry about isn't a source of concern anymore, because He took care of it. Now if only I could seek first his kingdom and his righteousness more diligently!

As I look at these pages open in front of me, it occurs to me how incredibly dense these passages are. No way can I address everything on my mind... this blog would go on forever! :) But let me highlight 2 more little nuggets that I can't stop thinking about.

I love the first part of Matthew 7. The illustration of a plank in the eye has always really resonated with me, and I have always wished more people would take the words to heart. We as Christians can be really judgemental, sometimes even more so than nonbelievers (in my opinion). And yet we are all humans, and have all sinned, and none of us are worthy of God's forgiveness. We can really be blind to the plank in our own eye sometimes, and instead of working towards removing it, we would rather focus on the speck in someone else's. We ignore our own struggle with sin, because it is easier to point the finger at our brother's than to confess our sin. And yet Jesus is very clear: "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." I could go on forever on this subject, but let me just say that I pray that God will help remove my planks. Sometimes it feels like there is a whole sawmill in there! OK enough of the wood analogy. :)

Last little nugget that I've been thinking a lot about lately is a verse that I memorized many years ago at LBC. I remember sitting in my bunk trying to memorize it to get that badge, and now I'm really glad I did! "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. " (Matthew 7: 13-14) I keep thinking how easy it is to find yourself taking the broad path. It's like sometimes I'm motoring along through life and realize that I am not anywhere near the narrow road I meant to be taking. Sometimes it can really be hard to stay off that wide road.

Well, I could discuss these verses all day (I didn't even get to 7:7-12 or the wise builder or Jesus calming the storm!), but I gotta go to work. Perhaps in another blog, another day.

Merry Christmas!

This has definitely been a different kind of Christmas for me... the first one I've ever spent away from my family, the first one where I've gone to work instead of hanging out all day in my pjs, and the first one where I played a board game with people who were 3000 miles away!!! Yesterday I was incredibly homesick, but today was a better day. Last night I watched a Christmas classic (at least with me and Andy)... "Ernest Saves Christmas". I got about 2 hours of sleep before heading out to work this morning!

Work was not too bad... not a lot going on since tests and things were rescheduled around the holiday. Of course, there were lots of visitors, and it was really nice to see a bunch of families on the floor visiting relatives. For some of my patients, it was like a party! The hospital administrators stopped by in their suits to wish the nursing staff a Merry Christmas, which I thought was neat... yes, they wished us a Merry Christmas rather than "Happy Winter" or other nonsense. Pretty cool.

This afternoon, I was surprised to look out the window and see that it was snowing! A white Christmas in Seattle... who knew? My patient looked out the window and said, "It's a Christmas miracle!!". Haha. It was pretty funny. :) Of course, it didn't stick around, but it made for a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

So after I got home, I played a rock and roll trivia game with my family over the computer. Skype is pretty awesome! Especially after we got the sound card issues all worked out so we could actually hear each other. :) We had a good time playing the game together-- we usually play board games on Christmas, and it was nice that we could still do that, even though we were so far apart. While we played our game, I roasted my little rock cornish game hen for Christmas dinner. It smells so good in my apartment-- like Thanksgiving! Tasted pretty good, too, if I might say so myself.

Overall, it was a pretty good day, all things considered. I am so tired! And very excited that I am working evening shift tomorrow night, which means I can sleep in! Wonderful.

Still loving the new camera, although I am figuring out all the crazy features and little tricks. Here's a picture I took of my dinner tonight... can you tell that I don't cook that often and am really proud of myself? :)

Luke 2:4-20

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields near by, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger". Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests".

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about. So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve

I just finished my little Christmas celebration with my family. It was a virtual Christmas this year, since I don't have any time off from work and can't travel back east. Andy and I set up webcams over Skype and it actually worked pretty well, although we couldn't get the sound to work so the video was over Skype and the sound was through the cell phones (thank goodness for free long-distance!). We opened gifts together and did all the usual things (homage to Grandma by someone putting a bow on their head; Mom needing to go get camera batteries or something else silly to postpone the gift opening, etc.). It was a fun experience, but somehow not quite the same. I guess it is better than not getting to see or talk to them at all, but I definitely am feeling homesick for the first time since I moved here. Now it's after 7pm on Christmas Eve, and I'm trying to decide what to do for dinner. Hot pocket? Sandwich? Canned soup? I could go out for Chinese like in "A Christmas Story"... except I hate Chinese food. Usually I enjoy the freedom of living alone, but at the moment it feels, well, lonely. Sigh. Enough of a pity party. Maybe I'll go watch a Christmas movie with Smokey.

The Meneelys, Christmas 2007

Traditions

When I moved to Seattle and into my own place, I started a little tradition. Every couple of weeks, I make a trip down to the Pike Place Market and buy myself some flowers. It started out when I got here and I didn't have a job yet and had a lot of free time in the evenings. The weather was gorgeous last September, and I often went out for a drive, just to appreciate the views. These trips were pretty aimless, just rolling down the windows and cranking up the radio and exploring my new home. I kept finding myself down at the waterfront, and would often run into the market just for a few minutes to take in the sights and smells... almost like I couldn't believe I actually lived here! I started buying flowers there because they were so beautiful and incredibly cheap, and somehow made my apartment look better even though I had no furniture. :)

I've managed to keep up the practice, although I did miss the last few weeks due to my night shifts at work. Earlier this week, though, I found myself in the car running errands and singing along with the radio, and suddenly realized that I was on the Ballard Bridge and headed downtown, without even meaning to. The market at Christmas is pretty and smells amazing (well, except for the fish!), and the musicians playing Christmas carols totally got me in the spirit of the season. I didn't think there would be any flowers to buy, but I was surprised to find a beautiful bouquet of pine boughs and dried eucalyptus and flowers for only a few dollars. It totally made my day!

It occurred to me that living on my own has been really good for me, even if it can be lonely sometimes. I like developing my own traditions while incorporating those of my family (ie. Christmas ships and eggnog lattes!). It's pretty neat.

Check out the amazing arrangement from the market:

Another depressing post

I skipped blogging last night when I got home from work. There was this patient on my mind... he had been on our floor since at least August (before I even started working at UWMC). 19 years old, with cystic fibrosis. I'd been his nurse a number of times, but everybody knew this guy since he'd been on the floor so long. A few weeks ago, he was my patient, and I spent several hours one night just sitting with him while he cried about his fear of dying. He was waiting for a lung transplant, and was completely overwhelmed. He just kept asking me when he would get new lungs... and then broke down when he talked about how he didn't want to pray for lungs because then it would mean that somebody else had died. I didn't know what to say, so I just sat next to his bed while he cried. It was an emotionally draining shift. I can still hear him begging me not to leave him, that he didn't want to be alone. He died yesterday in the ICU. Some of the nurses went to pay their respects, but I couldn't bring myself to go. When I told my mom this morning that this patient had died, she began to cry on the phone. And it occurred to me that I didn't. Here I had sat with this boy, holding his hand while he worried about his own death, and I haven't shed a tear. I don't know what to do with the emotions, sometimes. A friend asked me recently how I deal with gross stuff at work, whether I thought about the fact that I was working on a person, or whether I just focus on the task at hand. Maybe the reason that being a nurse is so hard is that you can't always just focus on the task. And that's a good thing. I became a nurse to work with people, but sometimes that is the most difficult part.

Yawn.

I'm so exhausted that I can barely type, but I feel compelled to write. Apparently I jinxed myself with last night's blog, because work was crazy tonight. We had to "rapid response" one of my patients who started going into respiratory distress, which was intense and left me feeling completely discombobulated. It was a really long and stressful night. I just now walked in the door from work (yes, at 1:15 am), and am dead on my feet. Speaking of which, I think I did something to my right ankle, because it really hurts. Hm. Who knows. Maybe a good night's sleep and some ibuprofen will help.

All through the years of Sunday school, camp, Young Life, etc. I was told that memorizing Bible verses was important because someday the right verse would come to mind at the right moment. Tonight, that verse was Philippians 4:13. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

Time to get to bed. Goodnight. :)

New camera

My new camera arrived in the mail yesterday! Yes, I ordered it online... because the price was super discounted on Amazon, and the shipping was free, so it worked out to be cheaper than buying it in the store. The amusing thing is that it was shipped from Federal Way, which I find to be hilarious!! It's nothing too special, just a little point and shoot to replace the beloved (not so much anymore) 3 year old Nikon that was held together with bandaging tape. The new one is a Canon Elph. It's cute and will fit easily into my pocket or purse... we'll see what the picture quality is like, but honestly, it's not like I take the best pictures anyway! The best part is that it has a shorter shutter lag time than my old camera. No more pushing the button and then 5 minutes later it takes a picture!!

I haven't had much opportunity to try it out yet, but I did snap a couple random pictures of Smokey. She is notoriously difficult to photograph, so I was pretty pleased to get one that looks normal. :)

The longest (and possibly most depressing) blog post ever!

It's been a couple of days since my last post, so I figured I better get typing. :) Especially since I found out yesterday that my parents included the url to this blog in their Christmas letter... yikes!! I can't imagine why anyone would want to read my ramblings, but hey, it's your decision!

I've been working a lot lately. Actually, it feels like a lot but since I'm not doing overtime, I guess it is the same amount as before. One of the problems with working evening shifts (3 pm-11:30 pm) is that you pretty much have to work every day, whereas with the other types of shifts you can put in 12 hours and cut down on the number of actual days you report to work. My old job was all 12 hr shifts, so I am still kind of getting used to working 8 hrs.

I've been off orientation and working on my own for the last week now. It feels great to have that kind of autonomy (again) but at the same time, it is such a high acuity floor, and there is a lot I don't know and have to ask for help on. Some nights it is incredibly frustrating!! I haven't had any true emergencies while on my own yet, but I know that day is coming, and I am definitely not looking forward to it.

It's weird-- my job in Philly was so incredibly stressful for so many reasons. But even though working at UW is a lot less stressful (I get to take bathroom breaks!!), it can be more emotionally draining at times. At Methodist, I did my best to keep someone alive until the end of the shift, even if it meant improvising or prioritizing the most essential things. But the patients at UW tend to be younger, or have more rare diseases, and often have come from great distances (Alaska, Montana) to get the best possible care. No pressure there! And then what do you say to someone when they have travelled all this way for a last resort treatment... and it fails? Or alternatively (as was the case last night), they don't like the flavor of popsicles the hospital carries? :) Seriously, though, I have spent more time in the last few months with people who are so ill than I think ever spent at Methodist. Maybe it is because the patient load is lighter at UW, which allows more time with each one, but I feel like I have gotten more attached to people here.

Being a nurse has made me think about death a lot. Tonight I got word that one of my former patients, who I'd had for a number of days, died in the ICU. She was 30 years old. We knew she didn't have long to live, but still, somehow it got to me. There have been a lot of deaths on our floor lately. I lost a patient last week during one of the worst shifts I've had in a long time. The worst part, in my mind, was that this poor man died all alone in his room while we were trying to save another critically ill patient. Yes, he was elderly and very sick and didn't want to be resuscitated, but that doesn't make it any easier to do the post-mortem care or talk to the family about funeral arrangements. I keep thinking about how I was the last person he ever talked to. Should I have said something different? What would you say to a person if you knew that it would be the last thing they ever heard here on earth?

This is turning into a super long post, so I'll leave you with that incredibly depressing thought. If there's one thing I've learned, though, it's that life is unpredictable, and the only way to get through is to trust God's plan.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.~ Proverbs 3:5

Linus explains what Christmas is all about

'Tis the Season

As I write this, I'm listening to Michael Bolton singing "Winter Wonderland". Now, no offense to my relatives who might be diehard Bolton fans (sorry Aunt Deb!), but I'm not a big fan. However, it was the free download on iTunes this week, and who can resist a deal like that? Besides, my holiday music collection is a little lacking, so it couldn't hurt to add another song, even if it IS Michael Bolton. :)

I've been listening to a lot of Christmas music lately. Some of it is inadvertent, whether at the grocery store or at in the medication room at work (because nothing says Christmas like narcotics!). And of course, I've added my 3 Christmas CDs to the rotation in my car. I apologize to all of those who have been subjected to the 98 Degrees Christmas album. But I will never apologize for the Beach Boys. I mean, "Christmas comes this time each year" is among the most profound lyrics ever written!! And it just isn't Christmas without the Little Saint Nick and its four speed stick. :) It occurs to me that my family is probably very glad that the CD went with me to Seattle and they don't have to listen to it any more!

In all seriousness, though, I love the more traditional stuff, too. We sang "O Holy Night" at church on Sunday, which is one of my favorite songs ever. It's too bad that it is limited to just a few weeks in December. Of course, those that sit next to me in church are probably just as glad that they don't have to hear me attempt to hit the high notes! :)

But my favorite of all the Christmas carols is probably "Silent Night". And not just any version. It's gotta be the originial... auf Deutsch. Maybe it is my upbringing going to Lutheran school, or maybe it was hearing it in the German cathedral a few years ago, but it just isn't the same in English. Unfortunately, my ability to speak German has seriously declined over the last few years, but I can't help but sing "Stille Nacht" rather than "Silent Night"!! I admit it, I definitely sing along in my car to the German version on my iPod. The secret is out.

Title

So I am thinking that this blog needs a new name. Originally, this particular site was set up to document the moving process, but since it has now been a few months since I moved here, it is time for a change. Also, I never really liked the name, but couldn't think of anything better at the time. I was talking to my brother about it yesterday, and we came up with some funny ones, but certainly nothing that will work as a permanent name for the blog. Any suggestions?

Random picture of the day:

Still haven't decorated the Christmas tree yet!

The impression that I get

A few mornings ago, I was riding the bus home from a particularly stressful and emotionally draining night at work, and listening to my iPod in the hopes of drowning out everything going on in my head. This song randomly came on, and some of the lyrics have been stuck in my brain for days, so therefore I am going to have to share them with you!

Have you ever been close to tragedy
Or been close to folks who have
Have you ever felt a pain so powerful
So heavy you collapse

No? Well...
I've never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if
I've never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
that's the impression that I get

Have you ever had the odds stacked up so high
You need a strength most don't possess
Or has it ever come down to do or die
You've got to rise above the rest

I've never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if
I've never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
that's the impression that I get

~ The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, "The Impression That I Get"

The Birds

Move over, Tippi Hedren.

I was looking through some pictures on my computer today, and realized that I have a relatively large number of photos of me being attacked by various birds. I found this odd for a number of reasons... first, am I just the unlucky one the birds choose? Or do I bring it upon myself? Also, how is it that there are so many pictures of these attacks? I mean, this phenomenon is really well documented!! Weird.

Let me share some with you... they are definitely good for a laugh! :) And keep in mind, this is only a few of the pictures. Yes, more exist.

Downtown Seattle, October 2007. I think the pigeons really wanted that mocha.
Later that same day at Ivars. Now this one I know I brought upon myself by attempting to feed the seagulls. Still, that seagull looks a little psychotic!

Bodensee, December 2005. You can't really see me in this picture, so you'll have to take my word for it that the seagulls in Germany are just as psychotic!! Apparently it is an international phenomenon.

This is my favorite of all the pictures. Ivars, 2004. I actually got smacked in the face with a wing. And Mom was ready with the camera!! :)

I saw this sign the other day, and thought maybe I should heed its advice:

Words to live by.

Ode to Metro

Seattle traffic is notoriously bad... although I have to say, it does not even begin to compare to the "Sure-kill" Expressway (wow, I do not miss my old commute!). Combine the traffic and expensive parking with a stereotypically eco-sensitive population, and you get a city where using public transportation is more socially acceptable than it is in places like Philadelphia. Although I've taken the R5 train in Philly many times, I've never experienced the joy of a Septa bus. So here I've moved to Seattle, where lots of my friends and co-workers commute using Metro, and I felt like it was something I needed to experience for myself. When I first got my u-pass, I tried out the bus, but it was not until the last couple of weeks that I've come to rely on it to get to and from work. Which brings me in a long-winded way to the subject of today's post! :)

Since I didn't have a night-shift parking pass, and I was only going to be working night shift for a few weeks, I figured that riding Metro couldn't possibly be that bad. And for the most part, it hasn't. But there are a few things that need to be said.

(1) To the drivers who make the following announcement: "This bus is not going any further, but if you get off now, there is a bus right behind us that will take you the rest of the way." First, why are you waiting until this moment in time to let us know that the bus isn't going the whole route? Second, why bother making the announcement? Inevitably, as the entire bus offloads, the aforementioned second bus decides to pass the bus stop entirely. This results in a bunch of really ticked-off people standing in the cold, waiting for the next bus. Not that this has happened to me... repeatedly.

(2) To the guys who hang out at my bus stop: Please take a shower. And why do you hang out at the stop and then don't get on the bus? There is only one line that stops there! Also, did I mention that we would appreciate it if you showered?

(3) To the UW students who have decided that the bus is a great place to make out: Get a room. And I had no sympathy for you when you missed your stop. In fact, I found it pretty amusing.

(4) To the artist who decorated the seat back in front of my seat: Nice rendition of a bear. Or is it a yeti? Maybe there is a reason your art is limited to Metro seats.

(5) To King County: Why bother publishing a timetable if the bus is never on time?

I shouldn't complain. I've gotten to work on time everyday (although it did take me an extra hour to get home one day last week). I really shouldn't complain. I love walking the 12 blocks to the bus stop. Especially in the pouring rain. When it is 33 degrees out.

Clearly, I am pretty excited to drive to work tonight. Thank goodness for free weekend parking! :)

The Blog is Back!

I decided to bring the blog back! I never intended to abandon it so suddenly in August, but once Dad left for home, he took his laptop with internet access with him. And then by the time I got settled in my new place, life got busy and I forgot about the blog!! So I will attempt to do better this time. :)

For anyone who may be paying attention, yes, I am blogging in the middle of the night. I am currently working overnight shifts (7pm- 7:30am), which means that in order to sleep during the day I am often awake when the rest of the world is asleep. There's not much one can do at 3 am. I keep meaning to go to QFC at this hour since they are open 24 hrs and I am curious what it would be like. I suspect they are busy stocking shelves... I'll have to check it out sometime! In the meantime, I will continue my nighttime routine of TV watching (thanks to the magic of Tivo) and internet surfing. Luckily, only a few more weeks of night shift!

I suppose I should summarize the last few months since I packed up and moved to Seattle. I don't know where to begin, except to say that it was the best thing I ever did! Yes, it was hard at first, but I don't think there has been even a moment where I have regretted making the move. Dad had this plan (some of you may be familiar with it)... where I would arrive on Sunday, rent an apartment on Monday, get a job on Tuesday, and buy a car on Wednesday. We laughed about it, but it is pretty amazing how quickly things fell into place! I did have an apartment rented by the end of the first week, and I got a job at the UW Medical Center within the next 2 weeks. It wasn't until October that I was able to buy a car, but still, everything worked out really well. Looking back, it seems hard to believe it has only been 3 months since I moved here!!

I've settled back into the routine of being a Seattleite... drinking espresso, buying organic produce, recycling everything, wearing clothes from REI, complaining about traffic on I-5, and hiking on the weekends. It really feels like home, although I have to say that I have noticed a few things. First, I never knew there was a Northwest accent, but Dad and I immediately noticed it upon our arrival in August. And I read in the UW newsletter that they are actually doing research on the topic, which means that it is definitely real! Second thing I have noticed: Seattle is pretty casual, at least compared to the East Coast. Don't get me started on my opinion of wearing t-shirts and shorts to the theater!! (Ask Andy, he is my witness that we were the most overdressed people in the Spamalot audience! And we would have been considered pretty casual in Philly.) And the third observation? They can't forecast the weather here! I guess I got used to the 10-day forecast out east, where although it wasn't always right, at least it was pretty accurate for the first 5 days or so. Here they give the 3 day forecast, and even then it is basically a shot in the dark because of the mountains/water. Crazy! Also, they don't use the phrase "Wintry Mix" here to describe precipitation that falls when it is around 32 degrees. What's up with that? I used that phrase the other day when it was snowing/sleeting/raining, and people looked at me like I was from another planet! I said, nope, just Pennsylvania. :)

Still, all things considered, I love living in Seattle. It's good to be home.

(I took this picture in September... is my city beautiful or what?)

Alison is no longer homeless!

It's been a busy couple of days since we arrived in Seattle on Sunday night. We spent Monday and Tuesday visiting a whole bunch (~15??) of apartments and arranging appointments to see more. Yesterday we took a bit of a break-- we went to the Experience Music Project/Science Fiction Museum at the Seattle Center (Dad's Father's Day gift from me) and then had lunch at Ivar's on the waterfront (my choice for a birthday lunch). We also visited the spectacular Central Library downtown and stopped by the Pike Place Market to pick up some fresh flowers. Then we headed to a birthday party hosted by friends. It was nice to have a day off from the hectic apartment hunting!

I found out today that I got the apartment I had applied for, and was very excited to sign the lease and officially have a place to live. Tomorrow morning we'll finish a bit more paperwork and pick up the keys, and I can move in! I am pleased with the place-- it is actually a 2-story townhouse, 2 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, with a large deck and a bit of backyard. It's the Crown Hill neighborhood, so the location's great for any of the jobs I've applied to, and the surrounding area is very nice. It's a huge relief to have that part done!

Now to buy a bed and dining table and a couch and a desk... the list could go on forever!

in Seattle

We made it! Actually, we arrived on Sunday at about 3:30 and have been here for awhile. The extended stay Studio 6 apartment is fine, and we have unpacked some of the car. Alison's friend Ingrid invited us over for soup last night, although I think we were not great dinner companions. Then we loaded up on a few supplies from the nearby grocery and turned in. Both of us slept better last night. The total mileage for the trip was just a bit under 3000 miles, but overall it went very smoothly.

Yesterday's route was pretty familiar to both of us, since we made the trip from Seattle to Missoula several times while living here. We drove across in a fairly steady rain, not hard, but consistent. And it was cold-- we were in our summer clothes and were not ready for temperatures in the 60s. At one rest stop, we saw woman walking around wrapped in her bath robe, so we were not the only ones unprepared.

We have a list of apartments to check out today, so it is time to get moving. It is great to be back in Mariners country, especially when they are in the middle of the pennant race.

last day!

It is early morning in Missoula and we are getting prepared for the final day. From here to Seattle is about 500 miles, which should take us a bit more than 8 hours. It has been a very smooth, if very long, trip. Ask Alison to plan your next journey-- she did a remarkably thorough job of organizing this so far. Other than the lack of internet access at a couple of places-- the Motel 6 in Rapid City SD says they have internet access because you can get a signal from the hotel across the street-- we have had very few setbacks. Smokey has been great, the weather has been good, road construction has been minimal.

Yesterday was our longest day, more than 700 miles. Wyoming has a bleak beauty, with wide open spaces covered with sage and stony bluffs along the horizon. Montana has suprised me everytime I have traveled it because it is huge. There are a few more small rivers in southern Montana and a bit more water. The battle site along the Little Big Horn was a good stop. You could see how an army could come over the hill and see an encampment, only to be deceived about its size if it were behind another hill. We hit bands of thunderstorms along the road. The first one, on the long open space between Little Big Horn and Bozeman, had very high cross winds with things blowing across the road and limited visibility. That was a little scary but there was not much traffic so it was not too bad. The burnt out areas and the wildfire surronding Missoula were unexpected. Missoula is a beautiful western college town but right now, it is a fire zone. The large M landmark on the side of the hill over the town marking the University of Montana is barely visible through the haze.

Time to pack up and head out for the last leg. We have gotten really good at packing the car so we can move out quickly. After the stop at the Starbucks across the street.

Greetings from Missoula, MT!

This evening we arrived in Missoula, after spending the day driving through Montana, Wyoming, and the rest of South Dakota. No new time zones today, although we did cross the Continental Divide. Some highlights from today's drive included more of the Black Hills; seeing antelope, prairie chickens, and a bald eagle; visiting the site of the Battle at Little Bighorn (Custer's Last Stand); a wild thunderstorm (in which the high winds pitched a tumbleweed against the van-- we felt like we were in a Roadrunner cartoon!); and roadside brush fires. In addition to seeing some small smoldering wildfires near the road, we were amazed to see how smoky Missoula is from all the wildfires in the hills. The haze hangs in the air in the valley, limiting the view of the mountains, and then when you get out of the car, you can actually smell the wildfires. According to the hotel staff, we should see more fires as we head west towards the MT/ID border.

Unfortunately, we missed a day of blogging yesterday, but we had a good excuse. As we were pulling into Rapid City, SD we could see a thunderstorm on the horizon. By the time we left the restaurant after dinner, the storm had blown in full force, with high winds and flash flooding in addition to the lightning. And then we heard the tornado sirens. Yikes! It was an adventure getting back to the motel, and we were glad to arrive safely. Although we lost cable and had no internet access, the power stayed on and our first-floor room did not flood. We were lucky in that I-90 was actually closed beginning at 2 exits west of where we were, due to baseball-sized hail. This morning, we saw abandoned cars with smashed windshields and all sorts of storm debris. We were glad we hadn't tried to go farther west last night!

Tomorrow is the last day of driving, as we are headed from Missoula to Seattle! It should be another pretty drive, as we cross Idaho, eastern WA, and then over the Cascade Mountains. Smokey will get to add another 2 states to her list, and I'll get to drive in Idaho for the first time!

Thanks for all the great comments. We appreciate everyone thinking of us and praying for us along the way. I received a wonderful piece of news yesterday-- my Washington State RN license FINALLY came through. That saga is a whole other story that I'll save for another day, but let's just say that in order to get through the bureaucratic red tape, we needed to get the office of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives Minority Leader involved. Sometimes it pays to have friends in high places... or in this case, a highly connected aunt who saved the day. :)

more on Albert Lea

Thanks to Wikipedia, we now know who Albert Lea was. He was the map maker who charted this region in 1835. Among the semi-famous people from Albert Lea are 1950s rock'n'roller Eddie Cochran (and there ain't no cure for the summertime blues), Marian Ross who played Mrs Cunningham on Happy Days, and a former Playboy model. So there you are.

lost in Albert Lea

We don't know who Albert Lea was but the town in Minnesota named for him is pretty nice. We got in here very early, a combination of leaving early this morning and picking up an hour because of the time zone. Since we had to wait until our room was ready, we took a tour of the town. And, for the only time on this trip, we got lost, made a wrong turn and ended up driving five miles the wrong direction on the interstate before we could exit and return. If that becomes our biggest travel misadventure, we will be doing well. We liked the town, and we found that the corn fields are just as big not matter what direction you drive.

Two of our earlier concerns have amounted to nothing. The van is a easily big enough to hold Alison's stuff, and it drives well. And Smokey has been an ace traveler. She was noisy for the first hour or so in Pennsylvania but has been fine since then. We have driven nearly 1200 miles in two days, with four days (and three nights) to go. So far, so good.

Day 2: Albert Lea, MN

We've made it to Minnesota! After an early start this morning from South Bend, IN, we crossed into Central Time and automatically our start became extra early!! Despite some concerns about getting through Chicagoland (home to frequent tolls and road construction) we had no problems at all. It was a real blessing since the last time we drove cross country with a cat (our move to PA in July 1995), we got stuck in construction traffic during a heat wave... in a van with no air conditioning! Compared to that, today was a breeze. :)

After Chicago, we sailed through the rest of Illinois, Wisconsin, and over the Mississippi into Minnesota. We've had great weather, sunny with temperatures in the high 70s. It made for a beautiful drive! I was amazed by the size of some of the farms-- corn fields as far as the eye could see, with the farmhouse just barely visible on the horizon.

Last night we saw a spectacular thunderstorm in South Bend. Although the lights flickered, luckily we did not lose power. This morning we found out that there was a small tornado only about 30 miles away! I am definitely not used to being in "tornado alley"!!

Smokey is doing very well, and hasn't been a problem at all. Today she spent much of the afternoon sleeping on my lap, and seems to have adapted to riding in the car without any issues. Sometimes she is so quiet in her carrier that we have to look back and check on her since we are not used to her being silent! As I type this, she is sprawled smack dab in the middle of the bed... apparently she has claimed it for herself. :)

Tomorrow we head out on I-90 to Rapid City, SD. We're planning to stop at Wall Drug, and I am hoping to convince Dad to stop in Blue Earth, MN so I can get my picture taken at the 50 foot Jolly Green Giant statue!!

Here we go...

Tomorrow's the big day! This afternoon we're picking up the rental van and packing it up for the move to Seattle. The plan is for us to leave Wednesday morning on the cross-country road trip. My dad and I are driving the 3000 miles over 5 days since I'm also bringing my cat, Smokey, to Seattle. It should be pretty interesting to spend 5 days in a car with a cat! :)

I hope to be able to update the blog as we go, thanks to the magic of laptops and hotels with wireless access. I've been told there are even rest areas with free WiFi!! Hopefully, we'll be able to post pictures along the way, too.