30

I've been working on being more open and honest lately, to live my life more authentically, to try to keep from building a wall between me and the rest of the world. This blog has been a huge part of that... putting my thoughts out there for everyone to read, and not worrying about what people might think of me...its tough for me to do, but I think it has been good for me.

So in light of my attempt to live transparently, I thought I'd better share something that I very rarely talk about. Anyone who has known me for a while knows that I have always struggled with my weight. What can I say? Combine the Meneely Metabolism with my tendency to be an emotional eater, then throw in some rough times in my life... and no wonder I got so heavy! I blame nobody but myself, though, because am totally responsible for getting myself to this point. This past spring, I realized that my life needed to change. My job was killing me (PTSD, anyone?), I had few friends in Philly (and none were Christians), my weight was totally out of control, and my faith had hit a stagnant point. Essentially I was completely miserable. I decided to take some vacation time and go to Seattle to clear my head. I had been here less than 12 hours when God smacked me upside the head and it was obvious that He was calling me to move here. Of course, I tried to think of all the reasons why randomly moving 3000 miles was impossible. But then I realized something. Why not?

When I was planning the move, I knew one thing for sure. This was my chance to start over, to start living the kind of life God wanted me to live, and the kind of life I needed to be living. It was a huge leap of faith, but God carried me through the moving process and worked everything out better than I could have ever imagined! To paraphrase Bon Jovi, I was moving on a prayer. (Hey, I'm still a Philly girl in some ways!)

One of the biggest things that had to change was my weight. I was tired of being overweight. My mom and I used to talk about what it would be like when I moved to Seattle, where being active is so much more a way of life than in Philly (where cheesesteaks are the way of life!). I promised myself that I would take the opportunity God was giving me and start living my life the way I knew I should be.

So with all that preface, let me reluctantly (because honestly, who likes talking about their weight?) say that I have officially lost 30 pounds since I moved to Seattle! Its pretty amazing to look at pictures from this summer and see the difference. Now there's still a ways to go before I reach my goal, but I am well on my way, and reaching this point has really been encouraging. :) When I look at how I lost 30 pounds in 4 months, I realize that maybe I can indeed reach my goal by summer! (But don't expect me to start wearing a bathing suit or anything, haha!)

How did I celebrate this milestone, you may ask? Today I ran on the Burke-Gilman Trail from Ballard to Gasworks Park and back... about 4 miles total. Ok, so I didn't run the whole way. Maybe half? Took a lot of walking breaks. :) When I got to Gasworks, I stood on top of the kite-flying hill (one of my favorite spots in Seattle!) and just looked out over Lake Union and tried not to cry. Because I stood in that same spot in April, trying to decide if I had the strength to uproot my life and move out on my own to Seattle. And to be honest, I was really proud of myself for everything that has happened since then. (This is going to be a totally selfish post, in case you hadn't already noticed!) The lyrics to the song that came on my iPod as I was standing there on the hill seemed particuarly fitting... "If you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted-- would you capture it? Or would you let it slip?" (Forgive me for quoting Eminem!) I'm really glad I chose to take the opportunity!

The other thing I did tonight was go shopping. Not to celebrate, exactly, but because I have now reached the point where literally my pants are falling off. Which is pretty awesome. Not something I'm used to. :) Since it reached the point of absolute necessity, I did something I usually don't really enjoy... trying on clothes. And promptly had an emotional breakdown in the fitting room at Ross. I didn't know what size would fit me at this point, so I brought a bunch of different ones in... and they were too big. Crazy! When I finally found some jeans that fit, I just stood there in front of the mirror, crying like a big dork, because I haven't worn that size in at least 4 years. (No, I will not share the number, but suffice it to say that my mom was shocked when I told her!) When I finally dried my tears and left the dressing room, I almost hugged the Russian lady working the counter when she asked in her limited English whether I was ok. And when I told her that I fit into a size (blank), she broke into a smile and congratulated me. :) By the way, I have never randomly told a stranger what size jeans I wear. I guess I am turning over new leaves left and right!

Anyway, this has been a really self-centered post, but I felt like it was a subject that needed to be addressed, if I am going to strive to live an honest, transparent life. And to wrap up some loose ends... moving here was the best thing I ever did. I have never once regretted the decision, and certainly learned an amazing lesson about the miracles that God can work if you just trust him. My job is stressful, yes, but not like in Philly. I have amazing friends, and better yet, friends that are awesome Christians who can keep me accountable. I have never been so happy as I have been the last couple of months! It's been pretty cool. :)

Finally, there is one goal that I secretly want to strive for. Only my parents know about this goal (and I doubt they even remember me ever mentioning it). I figure if I write it here, out on the internet, where there are no secrets, maybe I will have a better chance of accomplishing it! Right before I moved, I realized I was missing SeaFair by a few days. Sad, I know. But I decided that next summer I would run the SeaFair Torchlight Run. Actually, I initially decided to run the shorter 5K version. Today I decided to up the ante and see if I can do the 8K run. It's awesome... they close the Alaskan Way viaduct for the race. Pretty cool. Of course, I will be happy if I can WALK the route, since it is super hilly. Anyway, that's the goal. We'll see what happens. :)