Friday

OK, so I didn't go anywhere today. I confess. I wanted to get out and go to the mountains or something exciting, but honestly, I didn't feel like it. And didn't really feel like going by myself, anyway. I've been pretty lazy yesterday and today... haven't really felt well physically. Or emotionally, which then goes in a vicious cycle with the physical! :) Last night I went out for soup with Ingrid, and hung out with her for a couple of hours. It was exactly what I needed yesterday! (The conversation, I mean, not the soup. Although it was pretty tasty!)

Today is a beautiful day, finally. Sunny, although not warm. Only like 50 degrees out! Man, I am definitely not used to Seattle spring. I want the warmth of Philadelphia in May!! T-shirts and starting to work on your tan... not sweatshirts and still having the heat on in your house. I remember the day of my high school prom... 95 degrees and oppressively humid... in May. I could do without the latter, but man... I am tired of being so freakin' cold!!! Last night I found myself on Travelocity, looking up flights to warm destinations, just for fun. I entertain myself by dreaming of a trip to Vegas, although I know I wouldn't actually go through with it. :)

Going to Vegas probably wouldn't solve my problems, anyway. Sigh. I'm pretty unhappy with the whole church situation right now. Don't really know what to do. I realized today that I am working the next 3 Sundays, which made me happy... and it shouldn't have. I shouldn't been glad to have an excuse not to go! But the stuff going on makes me sick to my stomach. And angry. Which isn't the way I should feel. I spent a lot of time reading and praying yesterday. Need some guidance, for sure. I am just feeling so trapped!!

Ok, time to change the subject. The new Tivo arrived today. Actually, the refurbished one that is taking all day to set up. Sigh. I am being grumpy. Sorry. But it arrived with the original software... so it's like when your computer crashes and you have to reinstall Windows... but then you never got around to slipstreaming all the updates so you have to use the original install disk and wind up with a pre-SP1 machine... and then have to deal with all the bugs until you finally get a bazillion updates installed. Not that I've ever had THAT experience. :) But that's what it feels like right now. For example, the current version goes back to pre-WPA encryption... so I had to open up my network in order to get the updates. Which doesn't make me happy, as you might imagine if you know me at all! I am hoping I can get them all installed and then get everything encrypted again soon. :)

I'm already dreading work tomorrow. Working 4 days in a row. Yuck. Unless I decide to call out sick, which is a distinct possibility. I have felt pretty awful lately. Sigh.

Today in the car I was listening to Eve 6 on my iPod (sounds SO good in my car!!), and one of the lines from their song "Noctural" has been stuck in my head all afternoon... I wake up in a cold sweat/got a bone to pick with reality... describes my feelings right now. I definitely have a bone to pick with reality! So frustrated right now. Words cannot express it. Just want to be free of everything and able to live my life. Argh.

Ok, enough of this angry outburst, I mean, blog post. :) Time to go check on the Tivo's progress. And maybe spend some more time in prayer and Bible study. I think I need it.