Grace

Where to begin?

I obviously didn't get a chance to blog much while I was in Europe, so now I am woefully behind. I could just start with writing about this week... but who wants to read about my boring daily life?! (oh wait... that's what a blog is...)

The number one question I have been asked in the last 4 days? "How was your trip?" #3? "Do you have pictures?" The short answer to these questions? My trip was great, it was nice to see family, and I'd never been to Ireland before so that was cool. Yes, I have pictures... but there are over 600 of them and I don't have them all uploaded to Picasa yet nor are they organized, so I don't have a good way of showing you them!

(For anyone keeping track, the #2 question I have been asked over the last few days is likely, "What time will my doctors be here to see me?". My answer (in my head) to that is that they are an unpredictable breed and I have no idea. Except that you will probably think it is not soon enough!)

So I arrived home Friday night, had Saturday off to recover, then was back to work very early on Sunday morning for a 12 hr shift. Brutal! But now that I have 3 shifts done, I am off for the next 2 days. Which means that maybe I will finally have time to upload those pictures and/or do some laundry!! Oh yeah, and grocery shopping. Trip to Target and Costco. Maybe a haircut. Need to wash my car (badly). Vacuuming and other assorted household tasks. Mail the greeting card to a friend that has been on my end table since June (oops). Sigh. Gonna be a couple days of catching up, I suspect!!

Haven't really had a chance to watch much of the Olympics. :( Hopefully tonight I will be able to without falling asleep on the couch! It's tough because I am so used to watching all TV via my Tivo... but the Olympics are kind of broadcasted as one big program each night so it's hard to pick and choose what sports to watch. I might have to (gasp) watch live television. Not sure I can do it! Haha. :)

Today at work I was pondering the subject of self. Yes, that sounds incredibly deep, I know. (What can I say? I was all caught up on my work!) In reading a doctor's report, I came across the phrase "identity formation"... which got me thinking.

How do we define ourselves? And what happens when we allow others to define us, whether consciously or subconsciously? It's not something we (or I should say, I) really TRY to do on a daily basis... but we do it unconsciously all the time. Who am I? People often define themselves with objective things. I'm a 26 year old female. I have blond (ish) hair and blue eyes. I'm 5 foot 4 inches tall. The other thing people use to define themselves is their job... I'm a nurse. But the funny thing about that for me is that I have never been one who goes around proudly making that statement (and I probably should, I admit it). There are lots of nurses that are very vocal and PROUD to be a RN. I am proud of what I do, sure, but I guess I have tried hard not to be defined by my job. (I am struggling to avoid using the word career... yikes! Too much to think about!) Anyway.

When someone asks us who we are, to define ourselves, we tend to use those objective things. But it's the subjective things that really shape our identity, isn't it? Think about it. Feelings of self-doubt or self-worth are often coming from data that isn't concrete, and it's what we do with that information that makes us who we are. Confident vs timid, arrogant vs humble, kind vs nasty, happy vs sad. And the tragic thing is when someone uses the wrong things to define themselves, whether its based on internal feelings or someone on the outside sending false messages.

What a blessing it is to have, therefore, One who provides the ultimate definition! To plagarize a friend's Facebook answer to the question about religious beliefs... I am a sinner saved by grace. It struck me today that I often don't give God enough credit. "Fearfully and wonderfully made". What a concept! The thought that I am His creation, and He needs to be the defining thing in my life.

Who am I? I'm a child of God. No matter what. Amazing grace, indeed. :)